I was with Colombian girlfriend for five years and engaged over a year. I paid her bills for three years so she could attend school full time to learn English and I learned English to communicate with her.
Our first year was fantastic but she became more self-centered and controlling. She wanted to eat at fancy restaurants near malls where she pressured me to buy expensive dresses, shoes, purses, and jewelry. She stopped sleeping over at my house, and became much less affectionate. She stopped being with me on sentimental holidays and excluded me from any events with her family and would not have contact with my children.
I broke up with her after she blocked me on facebook and instagram; since she lied about it, saying it was an accident, but would not unblock me or explain why she did this. She later said she deserved privacy. I rarely had any actual contact with her on facebook, but we had initiated our dating on facebook.
I have not seen her for almost three months, but she has sent a couple of texts, noting Religious holidays, and one asking for two hundred dollars. I believe she loved me in her own way, but I feel she disrespected me and destroyed my trust.
I had noticed in the past that she I had several male admirers on facebook…but I had never said a word about this…and did not care. However, I remember her taunting me, saying that she had a long “line of men waiting for her” if I did not want her. I believe she is living a separate life and is being deceptive and is possibly disloyal. Am I right to think this way and do you think I should take her back?
Your instincts are good, and you are correct. She's dating other men and she doesn't really want you to know about it. That's why she blocked you from social media -- so you wouldn't see her shenanigans there. I'm sorry you are disappointed and that she used you. The good news is that you're finally coming around to seeing that she is not someone who cares about you any more. She's using you and she's treating you poorly. I don't think you should get back together with her. You deserve more than what you've got with her. So, end this in a way that allows you to disengage and move on. Don't lend her money. Don't engage with her on social media. And don't get together with her any more. You've spent too much time with someone who doesn't appreciate you. You deserve better -- and you can get better.
April Masini is a relationship and etiquette expert, author of 4 books and the #1 relationship advice forum, blue-chip corporate spokesperson and preferred go-to source for the world’s most prominent media and news outlets.