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Recent break up and need advice

My ex and I had been together for 1 yr and 8 months when out of the blue she breaks up with me. Her reason at first went against all we had discussed of our feelings. She has dealt with severe anxiety ever she had a fiancé die unexpectedly several yrs ago. And right after we began seeing each other, her most recent ex passed awya. She is very family oriented. Until recently when her grandfather was diagnosed with cancer, things were wonderful between us. We were discussing marriage often and our further. But when her granddad was diagnosed she become distant often. She is a school teacher and has told me that with the upcoming summer she plans to spend as much time as possible back home where she's from. We are in a long distance and I told her months ago to spend al the time she wants with her family and I would be there no mater what. With school ending this week, last Weds she broke up with me claiming that she promised herself to never date someone she wasn't head over heels for. Then she said she never loved me at all. Then said she wasn't in love with me then claimed to have fallen out of love. She shiwed no emotion until I asked was she scared to get any closer to me for fear something will happen to me. She answered with a idk. But when she began to tell all this, she finally showed emotion and began to tear up. Finally saying she just wants to be alone and have space. She also claimed that for now I should keep my vacation at work scheduled for our cruise in July/August. What gives here? Is it over for good or do I have second chance in your opinion?

Re: Recent break up and need advice

She's clearly brought some baggage to the table and she's dealing with it. In addition to which, it sounds like you may have been a rebound relationship after her fiancee died. She's got a lot on her plate, emotionally, and to expect her to behave normally is unrealistic. That said, I don't know that this is completely over because the erratic behavior pendulum swings both ways. She can break up with you suddenly and just as easily want you back, suddenly, because of her personality. My advice is to be very clear, yourself, on who she is and what you're signing on for if you want to stay in the picture, and if you do, then you should try to maintain contact, but if this behavior that seems to be part of who she is, not just circumstantial (although she does have some traumatic circumstances) is more than you can handle, you should accept that and move on. People handle trauma differently -- some let it roll of their backs, some take a while to process it and others hold on to it for different lengths of time. The long distance component of the relationship is tough -- these types of relationships are more difficult, in general, than "in town" relationships. As for the cruise -- don't expect normal behavior from her. When you ask "what gives", the answer is, this is who she is. Continue if you will, with your eyes wide open. And if you can't handle this or don't like it, then do yourself a favor and move on. I hope that helps.
April Masini is a relationship and etiquette expert and popular media resource —  author of four relationship advice books, the 'Ask April' advice column and the #1 free relationship advice forum where over 27,000 questions have been asked and answered, personally, by April. She has nearly a quarter million active forum members, 620,000 Facebook fans and over 1.4 million Twitter followers.

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