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[Standard] Please tell me what I can do to get him back? I read your previous response

#1
Are you male or female:
Female

Is the person your question is about male or female:
Male

What is your age:
33

What are the ages of the other people involved:
25

What is your relationship status:
Married

What is the relationship status of the person you are dating:
Single

How long have the two of you been together:
barely

Is this an online only relationship:
No

Have you ever had a date in person, face-to-face:
No

If this is a long distance relationship, how often do you physically see each other:
Does not apply

If you’re engaged, when is the wedding date:
Does not apply

If you’re engaged, but there is no wedding date set — why not:
Does not apply

Are you divorced or just separated:
Does not apply

How long have you been divorced:
Does not apply

How long has the person you are dating been divorced:
Does not apply

How many kids do you each have, and how old are they:
Does not apply

What country do you live in:
usa

Describe any cultural, religious or family influences impacting your relationship:
Does not apply

I have been married 10 years. I i met a guy (martial arts instructor at the gym) we started texting. He genuinely wanted to know more abt me and where i was from etc. I was upfront and told him i was married. He still wanted to know me and continued texting me. we texted abt everything. When he sees me at the gym he seems so hyper and always around me and ppl started noticing and said i think he likes u. He is goofy with lotsof energy.He wanted me to come early to gym so he can see me etc. Last week fri, we decided we at least should kiss. So, I went into the wmn bathroom. He followed me 2 mins later. We made out. It was great. The next day after my workout we did the same thing but this time he wanted a bit more. And i realized I couldnt do it. He sat on the sink held me from behind and just kissed my neck and held my hand.I told him I felt really guilty. He understood. I told him he couldn't fall for me. We kissed one last time. he held my hand kissed my hand and kissed my forehead and left. I said i would help him find smbdy other girl etc..He never texted me that day & i sorta got mad and messaged him said I dont understand men. Then next morning he said i thought u were the one who dint want anything. And he proceeded to say he started feeling guilty too. I told him we could meet up and talk abt it but he dint want too (i may have sounded desperate). Mon, i saw him at the gym we barely spoke. He was not bouncing off the wall with energy. Ppl started noticing that he wasnt talking to me. Tue, I told him to walk me to my car. I apologized for what i did in the bathroom but I wanted to give us another shot for me to show him how i felt abt him, He said he cant. He feels horrible. (Looked point blank in my eyes and said it) As I was leaving , he asked will i see u tomm or are u going out of town. I couldnt bring my self to respond, i just left.I saw yday, Just said whats up. .Idk. How can i win him back? . What can i do to win him back?

Re: [Standard] Please tell me what I can do to get him back? I read your previous response

#2
If you want him back, then flirt with him. 8-) Don't have any heavy talks about feelings. Instead, let him know you want to see him -- and not for dinner and a movie, but for more of what brought you together in the first place. ;) He's looking for sex in a whirlwind, so if you want him back, offer that to him. You can do this by flirting with him in the gym, showing up early, pulling him aside -- since you were making out in the women's bathroom last time, maybe let him know you're going to wait for him in there at a particular time, and see if he takes the bait!

If that doesn't work, flat out invite him to meet up with you in the showers, before the gym opens or after it closes. Less talk, more action -- this is what he wants and so this is what you need to give him if you want him back the way you were together before the rift! You can even rent a hotel room and slip him a key.

Still not working? Try gifts. If you leave him a beautifully wrapped present that's something sexy -- male lingerie, furry handcuffs, a gift certificate for a personal massage from you.... you get the idea.

Lastly? Suggest you need private martial arts training and you were hoping he could help you out. This should definitely seal the deal!
April Masini is a relationship and etiquette expert and popular media resource —  author of four relationship advice books, the 'Ask April' advice column and the #1 free relationship advice forum where over 27,000 questions have been asked and answered, personally, by April. She has nearly a quarter million active forum members, 620,000 Facebook fans and over 1.4 million Twitter followers.

[RUSH!] Re: [Standard] Please tell me what I can do to get him back? I read your previous response

#3
Thanks. he smiled at me yday , I sent him a message saying I missed him and wish we could be friends at least. I did mention I wasnt going out of own because i had a minor procedure done. He responded asking what i had done and i responded to that. But after that nothing. I am beginning to think he is not attracted to me anymore. I have tried to hang out as friends several times but he simply doesnt want anything to do with me. I have gone to the gym early. All he does is stare in to the phone. Yday was the first time he smiled at me. I think i look semi attractive . So, I am struggling how one week ago we were texting non stop and making out and now he wont even respond to my messages. I just want him to b goofy with me again. I have tried ignoring him. I have tried being my normal self and laughing with everyone else.
I am not sure what else to do. I dont think waiting in the bathroom or hotel will work. He wont come . He wont even meet me in the parking lot to talk to me. I dont know if i should just give up hope.
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Re: [Standard] Please tell me what I can do to get him back? I read your previous response

#4
Thanks for sending your photo -- clearly you are very beautiful..... but men don't always go for the most beautiful woman in the room. ;) They go for the one who makes them feel the way they want to feel. And his initial connection with you was a whirlwind of sexy romance. That's what he liked about you when you were "together" and if you want him back, that's what you have to aim for.

Don't discuss your feelings and that you miss him, or that you're interested in friendship or that you had a procedure -- he wants things sexy and hot. Not normal. And if you want to get him back you have to focus on that fact. This isn't a guy who wants a "relationship". He wants that hot affair with a married woman who's a little bit older than him who he met at the gym. That's the fantasy he was going for -- and that's what the two of you were. So instead of inviting him to a hotel room, slip him a key. No words, just the key in an envelope with the time you'll be there and the hotel address and room number. Or just nod towards the bathrooms and give him your most smoldering, sexy look as you go wait for him in there. The conversations about friendship and medical procedures just take him further away from what you had that you're trying to get back.

Of course... if you don't want that kind of fast, hot connection, and you want a traditional relationship -- he's not your guy. That's never what he was going for. But if you do want him back, don't have "talks" and instead, get down to action. 8-)

All that said... at the same time, make sure you don't come across as desperate or needy. Balance the advice I've given you here, with hanging back and waiting. Chances are he's seeing other women the same way he initiated with you.... but if he is, he'll eventually come back to you, wondering if you're still game. I'm pretty sure of that. So be ready -- if this is what you want!
April Masini is a relationship and etiquette expert and popular media resource —  author of four relationship advice books, the 'Ask April' advice column and the #1 free relationship advice forum where over 27,000 questions have been asked and answered, personally, by April. She has nearly a quarter million active forum members, 620,000 Facebook fans and over 1.4 million Twitter followers.

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