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[RUSH!] Long-time friend - not sure about his feelings or what to do next...?

Are you male or female:

Is the person your question is about male or female:

What is your age:

What are the ages of the other people involved:

What is your relationship status:

What is the relationship status of the person you are dating:

How long have the two of you been together:
Friends for about 6 years

Is this an online only relationship:

Have you ever had a date in person, face-to-face:

If this is a long distance relationship, how often do you physically see each other:
Does not apply

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If you’re engaged, but there is no wedding date set — why not:
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What country do you live in:
United States

Describe any cultural, religious or family influences impacting your relationship:
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I met him through a college club. We hung out regularly with a group of friends. I had feelings for him, and got mixed signals. He would talk about other girls and such. We joked with eachother a lot. At the same time, we would get touchy-feely; hugs, backing me into walls, holding hands, tickling, wrestling, lying together. He moved a few years later and we lost touch.

I reached out this past Feb (he moved back last year). I recovered from some personal issues, and wanted to re-connect. I planned to send a confession letter, but agreed to meet (about a month ago). We had dinner, caught up, laughed, joked around like old times. We didn't even realize when our meals arrived late (he paid for both even though I tried to pay for mine). We walked back to his place and talked more. He encouraged me to talk and really listened.

We wrestled, pinning eachother and fighting for control. He said he could tie my wrists with a lanyard, and I was game, so he did. This lead to him pulling out actual rope (a kink I was aware he had and am cool with) and wrestling while he tied my wrists. By the time we stopped, I was really turned on. He made an off-hand comment about his clothes, and I suggested he take them off. This led to us taking off most of eachother's stuff and talking about sexual preferences. He suggested we sleep and see in the morning. We shared his bed and stayed close all night, and at one point after he had gotten up, he pulled me closer and rubbed my back.

The next morning, we played around a bit. He told me he wouldn't do anything until I told him what I wanted. I'm a virgin (he doesn't know), and didn't know what to say. We didn't have much time since he had to meet a friend, so we just laid together for a bit; he rubbed my body very gently and didn't pressure me.

We talked about meeting again after he came back from a few weeks of traveling. Since then, we texted a few times. The last text I sent was on 4/25 asking when I could see him next; no reply. He's never been a fan of texting. I really want to see him again to figure things out. He's so hard to read, so I'm still confused of his feelings for me and unsure of what to do next. What do you think?

Re: [RUSH!] Long-time friend - not sure about his feelings or what to do next...?

I think he likes you and he's attracted to you, but he's not in any rush to get a relationship going. Therefore, the best thing you can do is to play it cool. Give him the time and space to miss you and to ask you out. You're on different "clocks" and you're pushing to move things forward, but you might make him feel pressured by doing so. And if he is interested you'll get better results by playing it cool. So since you texted him on April 25, and he's not a big texting person, don't text again -- unless he texts you first. Instead, give it a few weeks or a month, and if you want to reach out and invite him to do something, then you can do that (by calling him) and see how he responds. The only reason that may be a problem is that he may be someone who is happy and ready to go out and be with you sexually, when you invite him, but he isn't as interested in being the one to get or keep the ball rolling himself. That's going to be dissatisfying to you over the long run. I think you're confused because you like him and he likes you -- but you're ready for more of a significant, regular relationship, and you haven't gotten a clue from him that he's on the same track. So play it cool, and understand that he may be a guy who likes you a lot -- but isn't ready for a relationship. I hope that helps! Let me know if you need anything else.
April Masini is a relationship and etiquette expert and popular media resource —  author of four relationship advice books, the 'Ask April' advice column and the #1 free relationship advice forum where over 27,000 questions have been asked and answered, personally, by April. She has nearly a quarter million active forum members, 620,000 Facebook fans and over 1.4 million Twitter followers.

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