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[Standard] The infamous line - We need to talk!

#1
Are you male or female:
Female

Is the person your question is about male or female:
Male

What is your age:
39

What are the ages of the other people involved:
39 and 28

What is your relationship status:
Single

What is the relationship status of the person you are dating:
Married

How long have the two of you been together:
1.5 years

Is this an online only relationship:
No

Have you ever had a date in person, face-to-face:
Yes

If this is a long distance relationship, how often do you physically see each other:
Does not apply

If you’re engaged, when is the wedding date:
Does not apply

If you’re engaged, but there is no wedding date set — why not:
Does not apply

Are you divorced or just separated:
Does not apply

How long have you been divorced:
Does not apply

How long has the person you are dating been divorced:
Does not apply

How many kids do you each have, and how old are they:
he has 2 kids aged 11 and 7

What country do you live in:
Singapore

Describe any cultural, religious or family influences impacting your relationship:
Turned out he is a married man

Hi everyone,

I will try and keep this short.

So i was seeing this guy for about 2 years. We hit it off very well. We were casual at the beginning. He used to ask me out with his friends. Initially i would refuse but after about a year i decided to hang out with his friends. i got along really well with his friends. He did act up once or twice due to jealousy. That is when things got a little serious between us.

But on our last meet up he was flirting with another girl right in front of me which did bother me. Next day he texted to apologise. After a few days i decided to call it quits with him. But he refused to let go. We left it at that. And 2 days later i heard from him. He said that someone had sent his wife (yes, he was actually married) an email about the girl he was flirting with and asked if i was the one who sent it to her. I was totally and utterly confused. Long story short, I explained to him it was not me. He told me to my face that he was going to deny every single bit that he ever cheated to his wife. He clearly was telling me that he did not want anything to do with me and that his family was important. Which i understood and stepped away.

He called me again after 2 weeks asking if i again sent more messages to his wife as it was sent from a profile that looked like mine. He was threatening me and i told him to get the out of my life and not bother me. I had not contacted him since. It has been 3 months of absolutely no contact. He had not blocked me on facebook or whatsapp.

And then, 3 months later, which was 2 days ago, he pops up at 5 am in the morning, texting me this "We need to talk". I saw the message much later and asked him what it was about. But there was absolutely no response from him. I just need to know why he would ask to talk and then disappear.

I just want to know why he would ask to talk and then disappear? Is it to ask about another message that was sent again?

Re: [Standard] The infamous line - We need to talk!

#2
This is a guy who likes drama. It keeps him from being bored, and he enjoys it. For him, it's a sport. That's why he cheats on his wife, and he cheats on his girlfriends -- it amuses him. He likes the intrigue and the relationship puzzles he creates and solves, without regard for the feelings of the people who are the pieces in these puzzles. He isn't looking for love -- he's looking for drama. He's tried to stir it up with you several times, and this latest attempt to contact you is yet another attempt on his part. You seem to want a relationship that is based on honesty, loyalty, romance and fun -- but you won't get it with this guy. You may get some short term thrills and some short lived romance, but he's not someone for the long-run. My advice is to ignore his "We need to talk!" text. It's bait -- and you're the fish he's trying to hook. If you take the bait, he'll reel you back into his drama. And you'll wind up back here, eventually. Why not start fresh with someone else, instead? Play the field. Find a guy who's more interested in a relationship than he is with drama! Hope that helps!
April Masini is a relationship and etiquette expert, author of 4 books and the #1 relationship advice forum, blue-chip corporate spokesperson and preferred go-to source for the world’s most prominent media and news outlets.

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