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[Standard] Not 100% sure where I stand with this girl

#1
Are you male or female:
Male

Is the person your question is about male or female:
Female

What is your age:
32

What are the ages of the other people involved:
27

What is your relationship status:
Separated

What is the relationship status of the person you are dating:
In Committed Relationship

How long have the two of you been together:
Known each other for 3-4 years

Is this an online only relationship:
No

Have you ever had a date in person, face-to-face:
Yes

If this is a long distance relationship, how often do you physically see each other:
Does not apply

If you’re engaged, when is the wedding date:
Does not apply

If you’re engaged, but there is no wedding date set — why not:
Does not apply

Are you divorced or just separated:
Separated with no intention of getting back together

How long have you been divorced:
Does not apply

How long has the person you are dating been divorced:
Does not apply

How many kids do you each have, and how old are they:
Does not apply

What country do you live in:
Australia

Describe any cultural, religious or family influences impacting your relationship:
Does not apply

So I've been working with this girl for almost a year now and we have become extremely close. When we first started together, I was in an unhappy marriage and am now going through separation & divorce. She is also in a relationship of 10 years but he just wants to travel while she is ready to settle down to do the house and kids thing. She's told me that once everything is settled and I get my house back that I need to have a party as she wants to come over and have a few drinks. She always points out our similarities and of late has started specifically comparing me to her partner in the fact that I know her too well and "just understand & get her" compared to him. We are best friends on snapchat even though her partner has it and she also insisted I add her on Facebook & Messenger when I told her my wife was not accepting the fact I was leaving her (as she knows I wasn't allowed to have female friends in real life or social media). She always sends me funny stuff through messenger even though she has shared them on facebook and knows I would see it there. A few people have told us we're cute together and when we go out to get lunch people always assume we're together and don't want to pay separately. I've always assumed this meant people observed a good chemistry between us. We also go away as a part of our work so we spend a lot of time together having dinners & drinks. On our most recent outing, she was instigating a lot of touching and at one point I even noticed her ever so gently bumping her butt into mine while enjoying the live band. While walking to our rooms, I had a sudden urge to put my arm around her waist and as I did that she did the same to me and pulled in tight while walking side by side the whole way back. While it may seem like a sure thing, I don't normally get much attention from girls, let alone the pretty ones as I'm quite a shy guy and don't normally put myself out there so this is quite an odd occurrence for me.

Re: [Standard] Not 100% sure where I stand with this girl

#2
She likes you and she wants to date you, but she is waiting for you to make the first move. ;) When she told you that when "everything is settled" she wants to come over and have a few drinks, that was her clue to you that she wants you to take care of business with your wife, and become single so she can date you. When a woman tells you she wants you to have a party so she can come over and have drinks with you, that's your clue! :)

If you want to make a move now, you can. She may push back and ask you to wait until you're divorced or are not living with your wife -- or she may go for it now. But unless you try, you won't know. I know you're in a marriage that is ending and dating is new to you, but some things have not changed. The guy making the first move may seem traditional and old school, but it's the fall back position for a lot of people. And it really sounds like it is for her. She's looking to you to let her know when you're ready. ;)

I'm not sure how close you are to divorce or living as a separated person in a divorce, but if you are close, I think you can give it a shot. Invite her out on a date. Dinner, just the two of you, and tell her it's a date. If things go well, make your move. If that kind of formality gives you pause, then you can simply make a move -- and see what happens. But rest assured -- she's interested in you as a romantic partner. Game on (if you want it to be). Your move.
April Masini is a relationship and etiquette expert, author of 4 books and the #1 relationship advice forum, blue-chip corporate spokesperson and preferred go-to source for the world’s most prominent media and news outlets.

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