You have a problem. You write that you want to spend the rest of your life with her, but you want her to change. Warning! Warning! You can’t change her. You can tell her what you want, and you can change yourself, but if you think you’re going to change her, you’re walking down a bad path.
Fights don’t happen out of nowhere. The cliche is that married couples who fight over who takes out the garbage are not really fighting about who takes out the garbage. It’s always something else.
It sounds like your girlfriend is upset about something you don’t know about. You can ask her if there’s something upsetting her that she hasn’t told you about, or if she thinks there’s something underlying the fights the two of you seem to be having. Preferably, bring this up when things are good, not in the middle or the end of a fight. You want her to be in a calm, pensive mood, not an agitated one.
If she can’t think of something underlying the fighting, and you can’t either, then I’d suggest you consider taking a break from each other. If you two started out not fighting, went two years together, and the fighting is escalating, she may not be someone who’s your best life partner.
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