[April Masini, your AskApril]

My advice is not to approach your Asperger’s roommate/landlord. If he wants to date you, he’ll ask you out on a date. But if you create an uncomfortable situation in a housing relationship that is already rife with boundary issues…. you’re not just putting awkward into the relationship, you’re risking your housing situation, so steer clear of that potential date.

More importantly, you’ve realized that dating is competitive…. and you don’t feel that you’re bringing your A game. I get it. I’m sure others do, too! There are a couple of tips I can give you. Let me know what you think!

* If you’re overweight, lose the weight! If you’re out of shape, get in shape! Waking, hiking, swimming, and even dancing are all great ways to get in shape, lose weight and meet people with similar interests and goals! So instead of accepting the situation and feeling paralyzed, do something about it. You don’t have to lose 50 pounds, but if you lose 2, you’re on your way!

* I think it’s great that you want to date a super fit and attractive man! (Who doesn’t?) However…. being realistic about what you bring to the table and who will want to date you, is just as important. There are always opportunities for opposites to attract, but more often, those with similarities — in goals, lifestyles and fitness levels — tend to find long-term happiness together. Rarely does a couch potato with self esteem challenges date Brad Pitt. So be realistic, don’t be paralyzed, and expand your range of who you’re willing to date. You may meet an amazing guy who also wants to lose some weight — at the gym! You may meet a fabulous guy at the farmer’s market, trying to eat more healthfully, who thinks the two of you can cook dinners together to get to know each other, and achieve your health goals! A guy who is more “teddy bear” than he is athletic, may be sexy, generous, funny and smart — and a great date for you. So try and be a little more open minded about who you’ll date.

* Money shouldn’t be a reason to opt out of care! If you can’t afford to dye your hair — buy a box of at home hair dye, grab a girlfriend, and make a weekend of it. It’s very inexpensive to do. Give each other manicures and pedicures. Drug store facials and makeup work great for a makeover! Being on a budget isn’t an excuse for not taking care of yourself…. 😉

I think if you can begin to get on top of your game, you’re going to feel a lot better about yourself, and those self esteem issues will melt away because you’re going to be taking care of yourself, and getting positive feedback.

Let me know if you have any other questions. I’m happy to help! 😀