April Masini, your AskApril[quote]How do I go about permanently breaking a relationship off with someone who is so emotional and unstable?
Good question — and a common one.
When you’re breaking up with someone who is unstable it’s important that you’re very clear and you hold up boundaries clearly. By “trying to be nice” and giving him false hope, you’re not doing him any favors. It’s hard to see someone hurt, but anyone who gets involved in a relationship is signing up for some hurt. That’s the nature of relationships, and it’s not your responsibility to enable his feelings when what’s right for both of you is a break up.
More specifically, break up with him in person. Don’t go into details, and just tell him that you’re grateful for the time you’ve had together because so much of it was wonderful, but that you’re ready to move on and you want to be clear with him that it’s over — as sad as that is for you. Then don’t take his calls. Don’t return his e-mails or texts. And when you see him socially, be polite, but be curt and don’t spend time with him that will make him think there’s something there — that isn’t.
I hope that helps.
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