One of the things you have to understand is that men and women are different. It’s a problem for you if you expect him to behave and react the same way you do! 🙁 He’s not wired the same way as you are, and he doesn’t need the same things you do.
I know you want the same kind of closure from him that you think you gave him, but you have to take a few steps back and understand that he [i]did[/i] give you give your closure. He did it in his own way, and that closure was that he broke up with you. He was clear about it. Guys don’t get into details and emotions the same way women do, and your expecting him to be someone he’s not is confusing you. The hows and whys of the break up aren’t really [i]owed[/i] to anyone — especially after only one month of dating. If he left you after six years, I’d expect him to give you a reason, but after a month, it’s understandable that the spark never ignited or you weren’t compatible in his eyes. This is normal. I know you invested a lot emotionally, but the truth is that you jumped the gun. After two weeks of dating he gave you clues he wasn’t as into the relationship as you were. It takes about three months for people to even decide if they want to be exclusive. Guys don’t want to talk for hours about the relationship and have you cry in their laps after only a couple of weeks of dating. 😕 They’re different. His response to your post-break up Facebook message reflected where he is now — which is in a different place than you are. He’s moved on. This relationship hasn’t affected him the same way it has you, because he wasn’t that into you by the end of the month. This isn’t the first guy who won’t think you’re right for him — and it’s certainly not the first who you’ll think isn’t right for you. This is a normal dating process. 🙂
I hope that you can process this and that the differences between men and women will help you understand that you can’t expect the same things from men that you do from women. You’ve gotten closure in his breaking up with you after a single month of dating. Next time, slow things down and follow his cues before you throw yourself into a relationship that may not take off.
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April Masini, your AskApril