[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like your relationship with your ex-girlfriend and the future mother your child needs some structure. Ideally this is something you can work out without the help of the court system. Here are some ideas that you can use to structure a relationship that supports parenting your new child peacefully, with your ex.

First of all, work out the finances. Lots of negative engagement occurs as a result of fights over money. Agree on a regular contribution to your child’s needs. Next, work out a visiting schedule. This requires give and take and flexibility — especially since your child isn’t born yet, so you don’t really know how things will play out, but you can start discussing what kind of schedule you’d like in order to see your child.

That’s the bare bones. If you can find ways to be amicable and co-parent beyond that, great! Throwing joint birthday parties, having holidays together and attending parent teacher conferences as a threesome are goals to shoot for, but co-parenting in a family like yours takes creativity, flexibility and patience. 😉

I hope that helps!

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