April Masini, your AskAprilI can’t help but wonder if you really care about this guy, or if you just like him for what he gives you and he can do for you? Please understand that I’m not here trying to judge you, I just would like to suggest that you be honest with yourself.
The reality is there are no perfect people or perfect relationships… there will always be some sort of compromise that has to be made. That said, this man does appear to be a very, very stabilizing and positive influence in your life. The fact that he’s encouraged you to get off your butt and get a job is fantastic. You should be working, you should be responsible and you should learn to take care of yourself. Being self sufficient instills confidence and provides individuals a most valuable ability — the ability to be free from others restrictions. He (as you know) is also correct about your need to stay away from your prescription drug selling friend… that guy is a very bad influence and an awful association. Equally you appear to have gown into a better person due to your relationship with him … specifically, you are trying not to lie. Liars (generally) become losers… they all get caught, eventually, and subsequently lose the trust and respect of all around them.
Having said all of that, at 21, you are EXTREMELY young… and he’s already has a full life of experience — you haven’t. I also get the feeling that while you say his age doesn’t bother you, statements like: “he’s not stupid at all for his age” lead me to believe otherwise.
For now, I suspect that this man is something of a father figure to you and it appears that he is enjoying playing that role, the way you look up to him and the way he can shape you and your life. In my opinion, as long as you don’t revert to lying — he will stick around. Will it last forever? Time will tell. However, for that to happen it is going to take an enormous amount of work from both parties on an on-going basis. I were a gambling person, my bet would be that you, rather than he, will be the one to eventually leave.
Here’s an interview I did with MSN on this exact topic. I recommend that you read it (it’s free):
