[pharrigan210]

It’s not that i don’t try. It’s that i’ve stopped trying. i don’t believe that the effort is mutual. we’ve been married for 14 years, we’ve seen a counselor. we’ve fixed a few things, but the fixes are short lived. i love my kids – 12 and 9. and am doing everything i can to stay in this marriage for them. but i now found a person where there’s a spark – perhaps there is a spark from her and im having trouble getting that outta my head.

please answer my questions on the previous post. i know there’s probably a reluctance. who wants to give advice to a man who is contemplating cheating. i, for one, would not want to give me advice. but here’s why i hope you will answer those questions: In my opinion there are two types of men that cheat or attempt to cheat on their wife
1. Most fall into this category – the creep. Out for nothing but fun on the side.
2. A small percentage fall here – good men, good fathers, that are unhappily married. they attempt to work on the marriage, but the attempts fail. they stay in their unhappy marriage for the sake of their kids. but at the same time they find some one whose company they enjoy and they have an affair or attempt to have one. they juggle like this because they want to be happy, but they dont want to leave their kids, who would be devastated. that’s why they walk the tight rope.

i fall into category 2. im a good person. never cheated. never close to cheating. but now im considering it and i feel confused. im in my 40’s. i dont think its uncommom to go through something like this at that age. and im trying to get through it. quite honestly, i dont think anything will come of this. it’s helpful to talk about it. helpful to gain perspective of what this women might be thinking. if you could answer those questions, i could be extremely grateful. thank you.