25yearslaterThank you so much for your reply. Actually, I do have a dating life. I recently dated a friend from 20 years ago, and I do meet new people frequently online. I almost always have ‘someone’ I am talking to and trying to date. (Single parenthood has its challenges, and I have my kids most of the time.)
I’ve been dating like this for 3 years. I’ve met some really interesting high quality women. However, that spark, that one I describe here, has never occurred with any of them. It’s the one wear your chest fills with breathless anxiety and you feel yourself overcome emotionally and physically.
I fought this hard. I met her a year and a half ago because our kids enjoy each other. I could hardly speak when I met her. (which isn’t usually a problem for me, have you noticed? hehe) I put it in the back of my mind, (as you have suggested, and i agree with) for a year and a half. Then recently, I spent time talking to her at a party, and realized I knew her sister’s husband fairly well, as I had worked with him 15 years prior. I was lost in conversation with her. She really is amazing. At this point, the battle was lost for me.
I agree with you, I don’t want to subject kids to pain and suffering. I was angry with my ex for putting my own children through it. But now, all of us are far better off.
I don’t know if I am trying to convince you to give me a green light. I guess my point is, I’m not a lonely desperate soul. I talk to many women. None have given me this kind of spark. Not in 25 years. That’s hard to walk away from.
