[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like she is trying to tell you she’d like something different than what you’re getting her, and that you took this as a rejection of your whole self — not your gifts — and got very defensive, and came out swinging.

To be fair, she was not very graceful in telling you she would rather have something else than what you’ve been getting her. But if you want to please her, rather than fight with her, why don’t you just ask her what she’d like? That way you’ll know for sure and won’t risk her being upset.

On the other hand, if she’s a stingy, ungrateful person in general, and her gift giving to you and her criticism of your gift giving to her is reflective of her being stingy in other areas of the relationship, you may want to reconsider the whole thing. I don’t know how long you’ve been dating or how old you are, so I don’t know if you’re still getting to know her or not and if this gift dynamic is part of a bigger problem or just an isolated incident.

I hope that helps. Let me know what happens because the gift giving season is coming up and this is a good time to flesh out this problem in your relationship.

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