[April Masini, your AskApril]

I understand what you’re saying. Your friends’ opinions are interesting, but the bottom line is whatever you want it to be. If you want to continue contact with him, then maybe you can use some boundaries, but not all — for instance, if he says things that make you angry, or are inappropriate, leave, or tell him that isn’t a very nice thing to say, and stop the contact. If he continues, then you’ve got a different problem, but if he’s never been confronted with your boundaries, he may use them to change his own behavior.

Workplace relationships are very difficult because attractions do arise, and you’re working in close quarters, five or more days a week, together. The upside is that this gives you opportunities to practice boundaries and to practice balancing your professional and social relationships with colleagues. It sounds like that’s what’s on your plate! The opportunity to practice that balance.

Hope that helps!