[April Masini, your AskApril]

First of all, here’s the link for Think & Date Like A Man, the book I think you should read: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url] and here’s the Barnes & Noble link to buy the book: [url]https://search.barnesandnoble.com/Think-and-Date-like-a-Man/April-Masini/e/9780595374663/?itm=4&USRI=Think+%26+Date+Like+A+Man[/url]. I think this will help you a lot.

As for your advice. I know you’re trying to figure this out, but your boyfriend isn’t helping you. YOU have to look at the whole picture from a more distant perspective. He now has a child, and that child has to come first. It’s understandable he doesn’t want another man fathering her, but unless he’s there with his daughter’s mother, there’s a good chance that mother will find another man to date and become a father figure or step-father to his daughter. Because he’s now a father, he has to move beyond his own needs and desires and put the child first. That means he doesn’t get everything he wants (when he wants it, if at all). Having children means having to sacrifice.

Right now he’s trying to have his cake and to eat it, too. He wants an agreement with his daughter’s mother, but he doesn’t want to lose you. This isn’t going to work for long.

If he gets to a point where he doesn’t want to be with his daughter’s mother and is willing to set up a custody schedule so he has some custody of his daughter and a structured relationship with her, and pays child support, and he understands that her mother will probably be dating other men and may bring other men into her life and into their daughter’s life, one of whom may become her stepfather, then, and only then, will he be ready to date you. But that’s a tall order.

I hope that helps. Let me know how it goes — and I hope you can get the book.

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