Zero186
she did break up with me…but i was ready for it, because by the time i got to posting up in your board, i had already started to let go.
while i was talking to a her moms bf last night, since i couldnt talk to her, i was talking to him because wed become good friends.
she txted me and said ” omg why are you talking to him? yes we are over you happy. if you wanna know something ask me. idk why you keep bringing people into our problems, just stop asking people about me and stop calling me…get over it.”
I didnt reply…
about 20 minutes after, while i was talking to one of her best friends, and also someone that I had gotten close to,…. she txted me again and said…”i hope your not coming over.” im sure she expected me to do that because I had done it before, in similar situations…but not this time. I didnt reply to either text.
so she decided to call me.
i answered the phone
she said…your not coming over right? i just said no.she said “ok i was just checking byeee.” (in a very snide tone)
I called her back…not mad. i kept my bearing and i basically gave it one last shot. I told her im not happy. the reason i was talking to your moms bf was cuz i couldnt talk to you and didnt want to make you more upset by trying to talk to you. she said so where are you going with all of this? i told her im going to where ive always gone. I want to be with you and i was trying to show you that i cared by leaving you alone to do your thing. she said well i already told you no. i asked well can i know why?
and she said omg…whatever…please stop talking to me.
i said ill stop talking to you if you tell me why….and she just hung up.
i didnt call back after that.
i didnt get mad. i didnt say anything i regretted. she was the one mad the whole time.
but i got my answer
I found last night that her husband basically let her get away with whatever she wanted to. He essentially let her step all over him. He would mind his own business and keep his mouth shut to keep her happy. Much UNLIKE myself. I fought her the whole way, for us to be equal and she just couldnt get it. i wanted to keep her happy, but i wanted her to be fair with me as well, but she always had some double standard that only applied to her and not me, or vice versa.
Like I had mentioned before we have been on and off again. Lately it was her that was always the one breakin us up, because she would get mad about my actions, even if I was completely in the right (or at least not wrong), to do them. She would usually get mad simply because I was being honest about my feelings. She however is not like that. she holds things in. In essence, theres a role reversal. She was more of the guy in the sense that she would hold things in and not talk about them, and I was the more honest about what i felt.
When she would break with me…a few days later she would come back and say she was sorry. She would apologize because she always just said things while she was mad, and didnt really mean them.
I fear, that this is again another situation like that. At this point however, ive given up on this. i dont see the point to it anymore. its just a vicious cycle of breakup and makeup…and thats not what i want.
I could only hope that she would make changes, and want to make them, and still come back to me, when she was ready. I care about her so much that I would be wlling to wait, If she could only communicate with me, and let me know that she wants to get better to make our relationship work….or else theres just no point. this would all just happen again… Im not holding my breath.
