in my opinion someone in her childhood made her the way she is. i admit i am the same way, but i am working really hard to overcome this problem so that i won’t keep doing what is happening in your case. i would send emails and write out my feelings just as you described. i used to think at least it’s getting communicated in some form..right? welll….see how frustrated you are and i admit some ex’s i’ve left behind were. i can tell you my story and it may or may not be your case…but hey…it’s somewhere to start. i grew up with a narcissistic mother. if i wasn’t the pretty wall flower or did as she please i got hell. my dad…probably a little bit as well but it was mostly my mom. i was never able to explain myself or my feelings were always discarded and never mattered. i’m 36 now and i’m still scare to express my wants or something i’m upset about. i learned to express vocally, but i think i took it to the extreme because a guy described me as annoying. so finding a happy medium is a challenge. maybe approaching her with empathy and compassion will help. i know i am looking for someone “safe” i can express freely using my voice to rather than email/text. maybe letting her know by SAYING/TELLING her it’s safe for her to come to you. you won’t judge her or think any less of her for what she has to say and that ya’ll can work through it together. see, my mom just thought i was stupid with my feelings and i guess sooo many years of that beaten into me….it’s fearful to express feelings (at least for me). just something to think about – maybe it’ll help/maybe it won’t. hope all works out for ya.
katdawg