[April Masini, your AskApril]

Your problem is not with this old friend. Your problem is with your boyfriend. Lots of times when there is a third party involved, it’s easy to blame the wrong person. What would be nice is if your boyfriend felt your feelings were more important than hanging out with this other woman. But if he disregards your feelings and continues to hang out with her, then all you have is your trust in him. If you truly do trust him, then I think you’re going to have that trust put to the test!

When there’s a mutual friend of a couple — whether it’s a woman he slept with before you came along; a legitimate ex that he’s still friend with; or even a same sex buddy that you just don’t care for — it’s important not to give too much weight to the problem. The more energy you expend hawking your dislike for the person, the more important that person becomes in your relationship.

Since your boyfriend never cheated on you, and the issue at hand seems to be the fact that she lies, it’s really his choice whether or not to be friends with her — but trust your instincts. Just put the spotlight on what the problem [i]really[/i] is here.

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