[April Masini, your AskApril]

What happened was that you had a long distance relationship, and these types of relationships are trickier than in town relationships. Trust is a huge component of these relationships, and so is communication. You and your ex faltered in both of these areas. It really sounds like your ex did not cheat on you with your friend, but I understand how uncomfortable you felt because she was hanging out with him when you weren’t. But you need to understand and accept that you weren’t available for him to hang out with and he didn’t do anything wrong by hanging out with friends while you were abroad.

My advice is not to bring this up with your friend in a way that puts her on the defense. You’re clearly angry about things and you’re blaming her. If you talk to her about this, the blame will come through front and center. What I’d rather you do is accept responsibility for your part in the failure of a long distance relationship and try and understand his. This process requires you to distance yourself from your feelings, and I know that’s hard right now. Until you can process what really happened and let go of your anger over it, my advice is to find some new friends and don’t spend as much time with the ones that remind you of your break up.

As for you and your ex, there is an old saying: Time heals all wounds. I believe that with time and proper understanding processing of this problem, you’ll come to understand the long distance relationship was not right for the two of you, and because of who you both are, at this time in your lives, it wasn’t going to work for you two. If you can get over it, and if he comes to the same conclusion (because I don’t know what he’s thinking, nor do you), there may be a chance for the two of you down the line, but for now, I think you need space to get a fresh start on a new chapter. 😀