[April Masini, your AskApril]

“Please dismiss it.” 😯 Yikes. Even I bristled when you wrote that. Clearly he’s into you and even though women aren’t supposed to say the L word first — your sleep induced faux pas was a very natural mess and he seemed to really like that you said it. But you shut him down and were so cold to him because you were embarrassed.

What was missing was your telling him, “Oh, no! I’m so embarrassed, I can’t believe I said that. The girl should never say that first, and I was in this sinus infection stupor and I acted stupid — what can I do to make this right?” You missed the fact that self deprecation and honesty and being embarrassed are all parts of intimacy and you had a great place to get more intimate with him over this slip up, but instead, you got cold. And sadly, he did, too, in response, because he was hurt.

What’s needed now is damage control. You need to invite him out or over and make him chocolate chip cookies or a home cooked meal and apologize and be the girl and tell him how you’d love a “do-over” if possible. Don’t be afraid of digging deep and telling him your true feelings of embarrassment. Guys love confidence in women, but trust me — being honest takes confidence. Saying, “Please dismiss,” is running from the issue.

I hope that helps! Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter.