[April Masini, your AskApril]

Good question — easy answer. Listen to your girlfriend. She’s telling you what she wants. It’s a reasonable request. Do it.

It sounds like you came on too strong, too fast. Every relationship has it’s own rhythm determined by both people. It’s kind of like a dance between two, or a pas de deux, as the French say. You don’t know each other that well yet, and while you write that you want to spend the rest of your life with her, you’d be wise to keep that to yourself for at least six to twelve months. I can assure you she’ll freak out if she hears this. She’s just not in the same place you are right now. That’s not to say that she won’t be at some point. In fact, you may tantalize her by not being so available, and leaving her wondering.

It’s easy to Monday morning quarterback, but in hindsight, I’d tell you that spending seven to nine days of the first two weeks after you’ve met, together, was way too much. But it’s not too late to slow it down now. When she comes back, play it cool. Dating is the way people get to know each other and only then, when they really know each other after six months to a year, and sometimes longer, then they can make an informed decision about whether or not to spend the rest of their lives together.

I know love and lust are exciting, but slow down, cowboy. You don’t want to blow this one, so take it easy for a while.