April Masini, your AskAprilYour ex-fiance isn’t going to change. He is going to put himself above you and his son, so accept that that is who he is. When the baby is born, get a court order for child support and visitation so that your son can be supported by his father. You can’t and shouldn’t try to erase your ex from your son’s life because it’s important for children to know their parents and make their way in the world.
That said, your new guy seems like a real ace right now, and he’s doing everything right. I think you should talk to him about your fears and concerns. They’re real and you’re vulnerable, but remember that there is no insurance for marriage short of a pre-nuptial agreement, and that only protects property — not your heart! The divorce rate is a testament to the fact that relationships do end, so your fear that this guy may leave at some point, isn’t coming out of a fantasy. BUT…. you shouldn’t close your heart off to love just because some relationships don’t work out. That he is showing up when you’re down and out and wanting to be a part of your son’s life, are wonderful qualities.
Move forward with this guy. Be smart. And talk to him about your concerns. Being alone isn’t pleasant, but it’s not the worst thing in the world, and ironically, if you don’t put your heart out there, you’ll be just that — alone, anyway.
I hope that helps. Let me know how it goes. And follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url]
