[lourdes maria]

I was dating my b/f for 5 1/2 years now, and we had some issues before, the same topic, me wanting to spent more time with him, and he wanting his freedom during the week, this year problem escalate to a level that I said enough, I talk to him over the phone and explained the situation, I told him I noticed his change even in bed, he couldnt provide me with an answer, he limit himself to said I dont know what to tell you, I don’t know what it is. I said ok let’s take a break, maybe I am not making you happy and you are not making me happy, we hung up and a few minutes later he sent me a text asking me to stay together, to date, to go places and make it “hot” again, he said let’s bring the spark back, I do love you and I care about you. My family came to visit from overseas and he behave like a devoted boyfriend, dinners, trips even, watching movies at home with the family, totally a different guy, he even invite his dad to my house so he can meet my parents. days goes by and my family left, he went back to the same behavior. I discover he went to a concert with a chic, the same chic he is always hanging around, calling him and texting him several times a day and every time I complaint he said is just a friend plus she has a boyfriend, she is my friend and always will be, well I got upset because I ask him what did you do on friday and he said just went to the bar, but that was a lie they went to a concert together, so when he felt that he didnt have a way out of his lie then he respond with this via text “Look am sorry for not telling you the truth, but the reality is that i dont want to go with you to some places, i am not informing you of everywhere i go, I had a great time with my friends, am nice to you when we hang out, I hang out with you because I want to not because I have too”
after we keep arguing over the same thing he came with this message “I can not be what I am not, and I never said in this five years that I was in love with you, I enjoy going out with you, your company, I like to do thing with you or for you, you are a great person but I am not in love and never felt in love with you”
of course i was devastated, I ended right there and he came with the sad story that now he has to remove all the pictures from his desk and home. He said that he miss me but he dont love me, and if I want to take it that way welcome. I am so confuse and I can not understand how someone can be with a person for so long with no love, I feel use, and I can not take that from my mind. Every time I see pictures and remeber places we went I am omg he was faking the relationship or his love, but the reality is now that am out I do remeber was just a few occassion when he said he love me, I do remember one tiome saying i love you and he didnt respond back, and when I ask he said “If i dont say I love you is because I dont feel like it. The worst part is me having stuck in my mind that he did have another girl, that same girl that he keep texting and she calling him or texting him back, becasue he keep denying they have something going on, but last week they went to another concert together also to the movies, of course now I cant say anything because he is single, but for a nice function, work related events and family dinners coming over for the holidays, yes he do want to take me, he just go with her to the dive bars or carppy concerts…..I feel am driving myself crazy

[April Masini, your AskApril]

The relationship is over. 😳 He’s not interested in anything serious with you any more and he’s got someone else he is interested in. I’m sorry you’re hurt. 😥 I’m not sure how old you are, but usually five years is a long time to be dating without a commitment of living together or marriage — let alone his telling you he loves you.

My advice is that you read Think & Date Like A Man, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], so you know timelines and what men’s behavior actually means. I would hate to see you go through a bad investment like this guy, again. It’s very important to read the signs and know if he’s serious about you or not. This book will help you. You can buy it on the websites for Amazon or Barnes & Noble or else at the link I gave you. I really hope you’ll read it.

In the meantime, there’s not too much to say except that you need to move on today.

Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAPrilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[lourdes maria]

Hello just to let you know that finally I got your book today, but need to updte you with this comment, my ex besides that he kept his desk full of pics of me and pretended with everyone at work we still together, he invited me to spend his dad birthday and his family thanksgiving dinner, he insisted me to go with him, even suggest the plate we should it bring to the events, I didn’t go and he kept sending me messages we are you? Are you coming? Waiting for you, etc etc etc. And just the day after I bump into him at the club he was with the same girl I told you was always calking and texting and the funny part is that he was there with his friends the same people we use to hang out when we were together they were acting like nothing I said hi to everybody and he left with her I guess because was uncomfortable so I took a moment to tell everyone if the we were not together, I guest he love to live a double life or he want it to, but I unmask him. Don’t you think is weird?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m glad you got the book — but if you don’t read it, it won’t help! 🙄 So, read it!

I don’t think his behavior is strange. I think he’s wanting you and this other woman and his freedom and maybe other women besides the one you know about. It’s only strange behavior if you don’t look at the fact that he lies to you and he’s not as hot for you any more and after five years, there’s no ring or moving together or forward relationship motion. In fact, there’s backwards motion. He may not want to let you go, but he’s definitely not going to give you a commitment, or even monogamy any more. And the trust seems to be waning with the lie you caught him in about the other woman.

Read the book and learn what men’s behavior means, and how to get — and keep — Mr. Right. It’s going to help you a lot!

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

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