[Vegan88]

Hi April, my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. When we started dating he was in college and studying art. He is in his late 20’s, has been in college since high school and still attempting to obtain a single degree. At the beginning of our relationship I stressed how important having a college degree/stable career is to me. He continues to struggle with staying on top of things in order to obtain his degree, has not held a job since high school until now because he was a “full time student”, and currently makes $13/hr teaching art and is perfectly content. He claims he is still trying to get his degree but it’s not “All about money” I try to explain to him the necessity of making more than $24,000/yr to support the family he claims to want in the future and he just says that I need to stop worrying about the future, when he has a family he will worry about it. I am a nurse and currently in grad school. I hate when he says I’m all about money, I just want to know that he is responsible enough to hold a stable career and get his degree after being in college for almost ten years. He just says his happiness is more important than making more money. He is a great guy in every aspect othet than this and I don’t know of this is reason enough to end it. I fear a long term inability to be responsible and support a family. Should I end things now or see what the next few years bring? Thank you!!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]Should I end things now or see what the next few years bring? [/quote]

😯

The next few YEARS?

First, buy [b]Think & Date Like A Man[/b], [url]https://askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], now! Second, read it. Third, refer to it when you run into problems like this one!

It sounds like you haven’t taken your own goals seriously here. 😕 If you want to date and marry a man who is fiscally responsible and interested in the same lifestyle and financial goals you are — then why on earth would you date a full time career-student who is majoring in art? 😳 It’s very unfair for you to expect someone who doesn’t want to change, and is articulate about it, to do so.

Take a look in the mirror and put your glasses on! You are a nurse, in graduate school who is looking for a man who is going to want to support a marriage and family. Own that. It’s not a bad thing to own! Now, find a man who is compatible, because this one isn’t. Use the new year to start fresh. If you don’t, this problem won’t go away — you’ll just be older when you realize you made a mistake.

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[Vegan88]

Thank you for taking the time to reply, especially on Christmas Eve! I know you are right… Just hard to end it when I have $400 invested in New Years Eve plans. 👿 I will buy your book today, sounds like just what I need. Thank you again and Merry Christmas.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Hmmm….. I know you wrote that you hate it when he says you’re all about money, so re-read what you just wrote. 😉 You may have already spent $400 on New Year’s Eve plans, but in this case, that amount money is not a good reason to keep a relationship going when you know it’s wrong for you. Consider that getting out of a bad relationship for $400 is a good deal! 🙂

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

[kai]

Find a guy who thinks you’re worth treating to a New Year’s Eve celebration instead of a guy who expects (or even allows) you to pay for him! Sweetheart, this alone is a huge red flag. RUN!

Then, once you’re away from him and start dating again, stop treating guys… Let a guys treat and win you, not the other way around.

I learned this same lesson the hard way, from April, and it’s true.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you.

[Ethan Morales]

You’ve been with a man for nearly three years who has focused on art and college, yet he’s been in school since high school and is still struggling to finish. His work history is minimal, and his current income is far below what you believe is necessary for supporting a family. He openly prioritises his personal happiness over long-term financial stability, while you are focused on building a career and a secure future. You’re frustrated by his lack of responsibility, yet you feel conflicted because he is a “great guy” in other ways.

Incompatibility of goals and priorities. You value financial stability, responsibility, and planning for a family. He values personal happiness and seems content with a low-income, casual lifestyle. This is a fundamental difference; it’s not just a phase or a temporary struggle he is clear about his priorities.

Time and energy mismatch. You’ve invested almost three years, but his lifestyle and priorities aren’t aligned with your vision for the future. Continuing the relationship risks wasting more time and potentially compromising your own goals..

He is honest about who he is and what he wants. You cannot “change” someone who does not see a problem with their lifestyle or priorities.

Being frustrated by someone’s lack of ambition or fiscal responsibility is valid, especially if you want a partner capable of supporting a family. His claim that you’re “all about money” is not entirely fair but it also doesn’t negate the fact that you are thinking long-term and responsibly. You are not being materialistic; you are being pragmatic. Love alone does not create a sustainable life if core values clash.

Step away now. Accept that he is not the partner you need for a secure future. Focus on finding someone whose life goals, financial responsibility, and priorities align with yours. Stay and see what happens. This risks several more years of frustration, unmet expectations, and potential resentment. There’s no guarantee he will change or align with your priorities.

You already know the answer deep down: he is not the man who can support the life and family you want. Staying will likely cause continued stress and disappointment. Ending the relationship now allows you to invest your time and energy into someone compatible someone who shares your vision for the future.

[PassionSeeker]

You sound torn between your heart and your sense of direction and I get that. You’ve worked hard to build stability, and it’s natural to want a partner who’s building toward something too. But what you’re describing isn’t about money; it’s about values. You’re chasing growth, responsibility, and a shared future. He’s chasing comfort and creative peace. Neither of you is wrong just different.

He’s showing you exactly who he is: a man who finds happiness in simplicity, who isn’t driven by financial success. You’re showing him who you are: ambitious, disciplined, future-focused. The tension you feel isn’t temporary it’s the reality of two people walking different roads.

You can’t plan a life on the hope that someone will “get there” eventually. Three years is long enough to see patterns. You want a partner who matches your energy, not someone you’ll need to carry. Letting go might feel harsh, but staying will cost you something far more precious than $400 your time and peace. Sometimes love isn’t enough when the paths don’t meet.

[Marcus king]

Alright short but real.

Here’s the truth: you two don’t want the same future.

You’re not “all about money.”
You’re about security, stability, and being able to build something especially if kids are involved. That’s maturity. That’s planning. That’s adulthood.

He’s about comfort. He wants to do what feels good now, and deal with real responsibility later maybe. That “I’ll worry about it when I have a family” line is a red flag because responsibility isn’t a switch you flip it’s a habit you build.

And he hasn’t built it.

Three years is enough time to see someone’s pattern.

[Val Unfiltered💋]

girl… it’s not about money,it’s about momentum. you’re grinding through grad school and he’s vibing on “someday.” that’s not balance, that’s babysitting. love can’t fix ambition gaps, babe. if he’s cool living small while you’re dreaming big, you’re gonna end up resenting him while paying the bills. he’s not a bad guy, just not your pace.🚀💅

[Tara]

You’re not “all about money.” You’re about reality and he’s not living in it.
He’s almost thirty, still floating in student mode, and making $13 an hour while preaching about “happiness.” That’s not passion. That’s avoidance dressed up as philosophy. You’re building a future while he’s doodling through adulthood.
You’ve been clear about what you value stability, ambition, growth. He’s had three years to rise to it, and he hasn’t. You’re not partners; you’re his safety net. He gets to “follow his dreams” because you’re the one carrying the weight of adulthood.
He’s not going to wake up one morning suddenly responsible. People don’t evolve under comfort. They evolve under consequence and you’ve removed his.

[Serena Vale]

You’re not shallow for caring about stability, you’re being realistic. Love doesn’t exist in a vacuum; it has to live in the real world, where bills, goals, and shared responsibilities matter. Wanting a partner who can stand beside you as an equal, not someone you’ll need to carry, isn’t about money, it’s about maturity and accountability.

From what you’ve described, it sounds like you’ve given him time and clarity. You’ve communicated what matters to you, not in a controlling way, but in a way that reflects your values. The problem is that he’s not matching your sense of urgency or responsibility. His contentment with “someday” might feel freeing to him, but to someone like you — who’s driven, practical, and thinking about the future, it’s unsettling.

Here’s the truth: this isn’t just a money issue; it’s a compatibility issue in mindset. You can love someone deeply and still realize you’re not aligned on the kind of life you want to build. And if you stay, hoping he’ll suddenly change course, you may end up resenting him for standing still while you keep moving forward.

That said, you don’t have to make a rash decision. You can tell him, calmly but clearly, that you need to see real progress, not just promises, in the next year. If he takes it seriously, you’ll see it in his actions. If he doesn’t, you’ll have your answer without needing to second-guess yourself.

Sometimes love asks us to accept people as they are. Other times, it asks us to be honest about the life we want, even if that honesty leads us in different directions.

[Sally]

It’s not that you’re “all about money.” It’s that you’ve built your life on hard work and responsibility, and you want a partner who’s standing in the same place. Three years is long enough to see a pattern, and his pattern is… drifting. He keeps saying he’ll worry about the future when it gets here, but you’re already living in the part he’s putting off.

And honestly, love doesn’t erase that uneasy feeling in your stomach. You’re picturing a family, bills, real life. He’s picturing happiness without the effort that has to come with it.

You don’t have to dump him tomorrow. But don’t lie to yourself about who he is. If nothing changes, this will keep hurting. Just be honest with him, and with yourself, about what you need to feel safe in a life together.

[Natalie Noah]

You’ve built a life of responsibility, ambition, and hard work grad school, nursing, planning for the future and you’re right to want a partner who is aligned with that vision. wanting someone who is financially responsible and committed to building a stable life isn’t “all about money” it’s about mutual respect and shared priorities. right now, he’s comfortable in a lifestyle that doesn’t match yours, and he’s not showing willingness to grow in the areas that matter to you most. that gap is not small; it’s foundational, and ignoring it now only sets you up for frustration and disappointment later.

your awareness and insight are really strong here. you’re noticing the mismatch between your long-term goals and his current trajectory, and that’s incredibly important. the fact that you’re hesitating because of a $400 New Year’s Eve plan shows how tricky it is to balance emotions and practicalities, but your intuition is correct: that’s a temporary inconvenience, not a reason to compromise your future. a man who truly shares your vision for family, stability, and growth wouldn’t leave you questioning whether you can rely on him for the life you want together.

ultimately, you deserve someone whose actions, not just words, align with the life you’re building. it’s painful to step away, but this is not about punishment or blame it’s about protecting yourself and your goals. loving someone doesn’t mean staying in a situation that isn’t right for you. by trusting your instincts and being honest with yourself, you’re honoring your worth and the life you want. it may hurt now, but the freedom to find someone truly compatible is worth every tear.

[KeishaMartin]

You’ve been dating a full-time dreamer masquerading as a student for almost a decade, and meanwhile, you’ve been running the adulting marathon: grad school, nursing, and building a future that actually makes sense. there’s nothing romantic about watching a man happily float along at $13/hr, promising he might worry about your future “when the time comes.” That’s not commitment, that’s a fantasy buffet he’s savoring while you’re cooking the real meal of life. You’ve got standards, ambition, and brains don’t dilute that for someone who thinks “responsibility” is a foreign language.

April Masini always cuts through the sugar-coated nonsense, and girl, she’s spot-on here. You’re not “all about money,” you’re all about a life that works, a family that thrives, and a partner who pulls his weight, not just his brush. That $400 you shelled out for New Year’s Eve plans? That’s pocket change compared to the time, energy, and heart you’d waste staying with a man who refuses to grow up. Use the new year to slay, step up, and claim the kind of man who matches your fire, not the one who politely applauds it from the sidelines. So, pop that champagne, strut into the New Year like the powerhouse you are, and remember, if he can’t commit to a future that mirrors yours, he’s not worth your sparkle. Happy New Year, 2026! May your parties be wild, your kisses unforgettable, and your year unapologetically yours!

Happy New Year, 2026

[Member]

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