[Vegan88]

Hi April, my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. When we started dating he was in college and studying art. He is in his late 20’s, has been in college since high school and still attempting to obtain a single degree. At the beginning of our relationship I stressed how important having a college degree/stable career is to me. He continues to struggle with staying on top of things in order to obtain his degree, has not held a job since high school until now because he was a “full time student”, and currently makes $13/hr teaching art and is perfectly content. He claims he is still trying to get his degree but it’s not “All about money” I try to explain to him the necessity of making more than $24,000/yr to support the family he claims to want in the future and he just says that I need to stop worrying about the future, when he has a family he will worry about it. I am a nurse and currently in grad school. I hate when he says I’m all about money, I just want to know that he is responsible enough to hold a stable career and get his degree after being in college for almost ten years. He just says his happiness is more important than making more money. He is a great guy in every aspect othet than this and I don’t know of this is reason enough to end it. I fear a long term inability to be responsible and support a family. Should I end things now or see what the next few years bring? Thank you!!

[Ask April Masini]

[quote]Should I end things now or see what the next few years bring? [/quote]

😯

The next few YEARS?

First, buy [b]Think & Date Like A Man[/b], [url]http://askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], now! Second, read it. Third, refer to it when you run into problems like this one!

It sounds like you haven’t taken your own goals seriously here. 😕 If you want to date and marry a man who is fiscally responsible and interested in the same lifestyle and financial goals you are — then why on earth would you date a full time career-student who is majoring in art? 😳 It’s very unfair for you to expect someone who doesn’t want to change, and is articulate about it, to do so.

Take a look in the mirror and put your glasses on! You are a nurse, in graduate school who is looking for a man who is going to want to support a marriage and family. Own that. It’s not a bad thing to own! Now, find a man who is compatible, because this one isn’t. Use the new year to start fresh. If you don’t, this problem won’t go away — you’ll just be older when you realize you made a mistake.

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[Vegan88]

Thank you for taking the time to reply, especially on Christmas Eve! I know you are right… Just hard to end it when I have $400 invested in New Years Eve plans. 👿 I will buy your book today, sounds like just what I need. Thank you again and Merry Christmas.

[Ask April Masini]

Hmmm….. I know you wrote that you hate it when he says you’re all about money, so re-read what you just wrote. 😉 You may have already spent $400 on New Year’s Eve plans, but in this case, that amount money is not a good reason to keep a relationship going when you know it’s wrong for you. Consider that getting out of a bad relationship for $400 is a good deal! 🙂

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url]
And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

[kai]

Find a guy who thinks you’re worth treating to a New Year’s Eve celebration instead of a guy who expects (or even allows) you to pay for him! Sweetheart, this alone is a huge red flag. RUN!

Then, once you’re away from him and start dating again, stop treating guys… Let a guys treat and win you, not the other way around.

I learned this same lesson the hard way, from April, and it’s true.

[Ask April Masini]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you.

[Ethan Morales]

You’ve been with a man for nearly three years who has focused on art and college, yet he’s been in school since high school and is still struggling to finish. His work history is minimal, and his current income is far below what you believe is necessary for supporting a family. He openly prioritises his personal happiness over long-term financial stability, while you are focused on building a career and a secure future. You’re frustrated by his lack of responsibility, yet you feel conflicted because he is a “great guy” in other ways.

Incompatibility of goals and priorities. You value financial stability, responsibility, and planning for a family. He values personal happiness and seems content with a low-income, casual lifestyle. This is a fundamental difference; it’s not just a phase or a temporary struggle he is clear about his priorities.

Time and energy mismatch. You’ve invested almost three years, but his lifestyle and priorities aren’t aligned with your vision for the future. Continuing the relationship risks wasting more time and potentially compromising your own goals..

He is honest about who he is and what he wants. You cannot “change” someone who does not see a problem with their lifestyle or priorities.

Being frustrated by someone’s lack of ambition or fiscal responsibility is valid, especially if you want a partner capable of supporting a family. His claim that you’re “all about money” is not entirely fair but it also doesn’t negate the fact that you are thinking long-term and responsibly. You are not being materialistic; you are being pragmatic. Love alone does not create a sustainable life if core values clash.

Step away now. Accept that he is not the partner you need for a secure future. Focus on finding someone whose life goals, financial responsibility, and priorities align with yours. Stay and see what happens. This risks several more years of frustration, unmet expectations, and potential resentment. There’s no guarantee he will change or align with your priorities.

You already know the answer deep down: he is not the man who can support the life and family you want. Staying will likely cause continued stress and disappointment. Ending the relationship now allows you to invest your time and energy into someone compatible someone who shares your vision for the future.

[PassionSeeker]

You sound torn between your heart and your sense of direction and I get that. You’ve worked hard to build stability, and it’s natural to want a partner who’s building toward something too. But what you’re describing isn’t about money; it’s about values. You’re chasing growth, responsibility, and a shared future. He’s chasing comfort and creative peace. Neither of you is wrong just different.

He’s showing you exactly who he is: a man who finds happiness in simplicity, who isn’t driven by financial success. You’re showing him who you are: ambitious, disciplined, future-focused. The tension you feel isn’t temporary it’s the reality of two people walking different roads.

You can’t plan a life on the hope that someone will “get there” eventually. Three years is long enough to see patterns. You want a partner who matches your energy, not someone you’ll need to carry. Letting go might feel harsh, but staying will cost you something far more precious than $400 your time and peace. Sometimes love isn’t enough when the paths don’t meet.

[Marcus king]

Alright short but real.

Here’s the truth: you two don’t want the same future.

You’re not “all about money.”
You’re about security, stability, and being able to build something especially if kids are involved. That’s maturity. That’s planning. That’s adulthood.

He’s about comfort. He wants to do what feels good now, and deal with real responsibility later maybe. That “I’ll worry about it when I have a family” line is a red flag because responsibility isn’t a switch you flip it’s a habit you build.

And he hasn’t built it.

Three years is enough time to see someone’s pattern.

[Val Unfiltered💋]

girl… it’s not about money,it’s about momentum. you’re grinding through grad school and he’s vibing on “someday.” that’s not balance, that’s babysitting. love can’t fix ambition gaps, babe. if he’s cool living small while you’re dreaming big, you’re gonna end up resenting him while paying the bills. he’s not a bad guy, just not your pace.🚀💅

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