[KJeru]

I’ve been with my girlfriend for 2 years now. We both had previous marriages with a single child each about the same age. We had great chemistry from the start and things moved pretty fast. After a couple of years, we live together with her son. Now, I have a great relationship with her son. He responds to me well. Her and I get along and never really argue. She did have some major issues for awhile. One, she hated my job because its not a 9 to 5 and I work in schools usually after the kids go home sometimes (rarely) to 11pm. She also did not like me to talk about my own child who I talk to about once a week. Those issues eventually worked themselves out.

The problem is and admittedly, this has been an issue since the beginning of our relationship: is that she has a very strict schedule that she does not deviate from…

She wakes up at 5 to 5:30am every morning (no exceptions) and she falls asleep as soon as her son is in bed (not necessarily asleep) at 8:30 to 9pm every night. She only has the energy or the mood for sex between the hours of 9am to 1pm. She is very in the mood in the morning. She is almost never in the mood after that point and if she is, its very cool and apathetic. I’ve never met a person like this and its taken me awhile to pick up on this. In the beginning of this relationship, the newness of it of course was hot even at night (though she still went to sleep uncommonly early for someone in their 20s.)

Lately, this has become quite an issue because she now has a job during the day and my promotion has me starting work earlier during the day now. We never really have that 9am to 1pm window alone together except for 2 mornings on the weekend once every 2 weeks when her son visits his father.

My routine has really started being… Wake up, work, responsibilities, come home, help out with her son, read him a book, then both of them go to bed and I sit up alone for awhile. This has been going on now every day with no exception really for several months. I’m really starting to feel alone and like I’m not even in a relationship anymore. I was happy to have met her, because I lived alone for a year and a half before and hated it. Now, I kind of feel the same feeling, only there are people in the place I live.

Am I being selfish? Should I move on? Everything else is great. I love her family. We don’t fight. I love her son. I just don’t what to do, because I’m personally becoming more and more unhappy.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

This problem is as fixable as the two of you choose to make it. 😉 If you both want the relationship to last then you both have to make compromises. It’s really that simple. From what you describe the problem is finding time to have sex. I think you’re telling me that your work schedules don’t allow for a window of sex during the week. Therefore, you’ve got the weekend! Try to work out a sex schedule for the weekend. If those two days aren’t enough then either she has to go bed at a different time to accommodate your sex life or your have to be home and awake during her schedule. This isn’t brain surgery — it’s simple stubbornness.

Start with the weekend days and then if that makes things better, consider adding one weekday every week or every two weeks, and go from there.

Let mek now how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[jimcarry15]

My boyfriend of 3 or so months is not well, He never was since I met him. He suffers from kind of IBS and he had some other healthy issues in the past. He used to come to see me every Tuesday every week and I used to go to his house every Friday until Sunday morning. In the last few days or 2 weeks his health condition are becoming worst. This week he never came to see me and he never mentioned why, ( I know why) but at least I was expecting from him to tell me that he cannot come or just to let me know that he really would like to see me but he is not well. I ask him every day how he is feeling, all he says is that he is not well and never tells me that he misses me, or he wishes he could come to see me, or I could go to see him….. I am so devastated and stressed because I do have feelings for him, and care for him so much but I don’t know how to act in this case. I don’t want to be too pushy or to sound desperate after he is not saying anything towards us…. I need some opinions from you guys ; am I being selfish and asking to much from him knowing he is not well or just act normal and don’t expect from him to much… Please spare me from nasty comments. Thank you

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Please start a new thread for this new question! I’m very happy to answer you once you do that.

[Member]

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