[Kellims313]

I’m young and still in high school, but I would still like the chance to experience dating. I’ve liked plenty of guys, but things never seem to work out the way I want them to. I’m not sure if it’s just me, but all of the guys I talk to seem too clingy and too eager. I feel like they are always just too ready to say “I love you” when all I really want is some experimentation, something casual, and my space.
For example, this one guy said he loved me over the phone before we even went on our first date which caused me to run like mad in the opposite direction. I’ve learned from my friends who have been in relationships that going too quickly just doesn’t work and I don’t want that to happen to me.
Like April said in her article “Why Nice Guys Finish Last”, I just feel like guys want to get too serious before they even really know me. So, I guess what I’m asking is, am I setting my standards for teenage boys too high? Should I wait until guys get older and more mature until I start dating? I’m just not sure what to do. Please help.

[AskApril Masini]

You are very bright and mature and have a healthy curiosity and interest in dating that is age appropriate. That said, most, but not all, high school boys are not as mature as their female counterparts. They’re slower to catch up in terms of maturity. That’s why you’re seeing boys being clingy, saying, “I love you,” way too soon, and basically bumbling through the beginning of their dating careers. But, I want to caution you that this isn’t an across the board rule. There are lots of boys your age who are mature, and even as mature as you. They’re just a little harder to find — right now.

So, in answer to your question, I don’t think you’re setting your standards too high for teenage boys, but I think you also have to be realistic about the fact that all teenagers are experimenting with dating. It’s new. And mistakes will be made — guaranteed! But that’s how you figure out who you are, what you like, who you like, and whether or not you want to date someone at all, or a little more often.

You don’t have to wait until the guys are older. It’s healthy to go out on age appropriate dates with guys at your age. So keep your standards, but also understand your choices. Teenage boys have a lot going for them in so many ways, but they’re just trying to figure out their emotions and social manners when it comes to dating, so cut them some slack, while balancing your own standards.

Hope that helps! 🙂

[Kellims313]

Thank you so much. I’ve been really confused. I wasn’t sure if I was just running away from guys or if I was actually right in questioning the maturity of them. It does help and thanks again. I’ll try to use your advice when dating:)

[optimistvik]

hi, girls will mature at very oung age, but its not so for guys. so what you feeling is quite natural…

[AskApril Masini]

Happy New Year! Please let me know how things are going for you. 😉

[Natalie Noah]

You have a very healthy and self-aware perspective on dating, especially for someone still in high school. You know what you want: space, fun, and a chance to explore relationships casually without being pressured into something serious too soon. That’s a strong sign of emotional intelligence. The frustration you feel with boys being clingy or rushing into “I love you” is understandable. It’s not that you’re setting your standards too high; it’s that most teenage boys are still learning how to navigate their emotions and social interactions, so their timing can be off.

It’s also important to recognize that dating at your age is all about experimentation and learning not just about finding the perfect partner. Every interaction, even the ones that feel frustrating, teaches you more about what you value in a relationship, how you handle emotional boundaries, and what kind of communication works for you. Being patient with both yourself and the boys you meet will help you avoid unnecessary stress while still enjoying the experiences of young love.

Your approach of keeping your standards while staying realistic is spot on. You don’t need to wait for older guys to be mature; you just need to understand that some boys your age may take longer to meet your expectations. What matters is maintaining your boundaries, being honest about what you want, and recognizing that mistakes and awkward moments are part of growing up. By balancing self-awareness with patience, you’ll set yourself up to have fun, meaningful, and safe experiences with dating while still protecting your emotional well-being.

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