[Success15]

Hi, I am 25 and new at dating. There is a 29 year old colleague, to whom I haven’t spoken to, but there is something attractive about him, which I can’t put my finger on.This man was a colleague of mine at my old trading firm when I left this year in March. I have been attracted to him since summer 2014 and I never had the courage to speak to him, which now I regret. He is Italian, a bit shy and very sweet from what my colleagues have told me and educated. It’s been nearly a year since I left and realised that I am still attracted to him. There is this strong attraction, which I don’t know what it is. I don’t want to become an obsessed person. I hope this is not obsession what I am feeling. This attraction is passionate and touches me in my heart. I feel like I am drawn to his energy. He is still based at the old workplace, but for some reason I have this hope where I will see him again naturally. My parents are trying to find me a potential husband at the moment and I feel like he could probably be the one. I have discussed this with my mum, who suggested that I send him an email and check if he is interested on getting to know me and I him, but I don’t want to come across desperate. She said that this could serve me with a closure, which I need some kind. I want to try to contact him via LinkedIn but I don’t him to think that I am some kind of stalker,which I am not. I don’t know what to do or approach him.

I would really appreciate any advice, which would help me clear this.
Many thanks, 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think you should contact him! The best way to do so is to plan to bump into him near his office, or see if mutual friends can fix you up or even arrange a get together where you know he’s been invited. If those don’t work, then contacting him through social media is fine. The big problem here is that you’ve never made contact over all this time, so you’re probably putting pressure on yourself both TO contact him and NOT TO come off as desperate. That’s why bumping into him at the old office or both being invited to an event by mutual friends is the best bet to meet your needs. If you do contact him by social media, you should just let him know you’ve always wanted to say hello and never did…. don’t try to set something up or come on to him. Let him take the lead, but let him know you’ve been thinking of him.

I hope that helps!

[Success15]

[quote=”April Masini”]I think you should contact him! The best way to do so is to plan to bump into him near his office, or see if mutual friends can fix you up or even arrange a get together where you know he’s been invited. If those don’t work, then contacting him through social media is fine. The big problem here is that you’ve never made contact over all this time, so you’re probably putting pressure on yourself both TO contact him and NOT TO come off as desperate. That’s why bumping into him at the old office or both being invited to an event by mutual friends is the best bet to meet your needs. If you do contact him by social media, you should just let him know you’ve always wanted to say hello and never did…. don’t try to set something up or come on to him. Let him take the lead, but let him know you’ve been thinking of him.

I hope that helps![/quote]

Hi April, thank you. This helps alot. It will be good to know where he and i stand. If he is not interested or is in a relationship at the moment, i guess it will be a closure, which i will be fine with. I will casually approach him. He only has an Instagram and Linkedin account. We are connected on Linkedin and he knows who I am where I worked. I dont have a Instagram account, though. I know some previous colleagues from there that i still keep in contact with, but they are not into mutual friend zone, which is why is a bit hard for me to ask them. I can message him through Linkedin and then i realised this is more of a professional networking site, which i am not sure if it will be appropriate. I could be wrong and I dont have any account with other social media sites. Also, I am still learning about dating, which i am not sure how to let him lead and at the same time express to him that i have been thinking about him. I appreciate your advice and opinions. Its good to see and understand something from someone elses perspective. It helps me come up with my own solution. Many thanks 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re very welcome!

Remember not to fear rejection. It’s a gift if you look at it carefully, because it lets you see which doors are open, and which ones aren’t. If you’re realistic, you’ll have an easier time in life. 🙂 You may not always get what you want when you want it, but you’ll be able to make better decisions and that will ultimately affect better outcomes.

Happy New Year!

[Success15]

[quote=”April Masini”]You’re very welcome!

Remember not to fear rejection. It’s a gift if you look at it carefully, because it lets you see which doors are open, and which ones aren’t. If you’re realistic, you’ll have an easier time in life. 🙂 You may not always get what you want when you want it, but you’ll be able to make better decisions and that will ultimately affect better outcomes.

Happy New Year![/quote]

Hi April, Thank you. This definitely helps. Happy New Year to a wonderful 2016 and to good health:)

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re very welcome! 🙂

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