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Hi April,

I have recently met a girl and I don’t know if our relationship is heading in the right direction. I took her out to a restaurant on our first date and a sports bar to shoot some pool afterwards. We both seemed to enjoy the evening and she invited me back to her house for a movie. After a bit of conversation, we started making out and in the heat of the moment I started to slowly take things to a more intimate level. Keep in mind we were both a bit intoxicated. I stroked her thigh, kissed her neck and began to slide my hand underneath her shirt. She seemed receptive until I moved my hand and attempted to undo her bra, a move to which she delicately objected. I apologized to her for taking things too far, and she told me not to worry about it. As I’m sure you are aware, the rest of the evening was pretty awkward, not much was said. We simply sat there, cuddled up to one another and finished watching the movie.

When I was leaving, I grabbed my jacket and asked if I could see her again. She replied yes, smiled, wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me goodnight. I thought to myself, wow – I can’t believe this girl is giving me a second chance after the dumbass move I just tried to pull.

She didn’t text me for the next week or so (I texted a few times, with no reply) I thought for sure that she was put off by my early advances, so I decided that I would indeed not see her again. The least I could do is be honest with this girl and genuinely apologize for getting too “frisky”, if you will. I wrote a pretty lengthy apology text, hit send, and moved on.

The one important thing that I left out my story is this: I sincerely liked this girl. I felt like we connected right off the bat. I know that I treated her a bit disrespectfully, I just think it was a “heat of the moment” type thing. Maybe the alcohol had something to do with it I dont know. Maybe I am jumping to conclusions based on a first date – but I think we both felt that there was something there.

I haven’t heard from her again. I found out that she got into a relationship about 2-3 weeks after our date. I figured I deserved it. I acted like an asshole.

So here I am 2 1/2 months after the fact. Out of the blue I get a message from her. 5 messages into the conversation she’s dropping hints that she does not want to be alone at home, and invites me over. I decline, telling her (insert plausible excuse here). I could have went, but decided not to make myself look too available. After a few days of talking on the phone and catching up, she invites me to her place again. I obliged. We spent the evening watching movies, eating pizza, holding hands, flirting, etc. I confessed my feelings for her and asked if there was still a chance for something serious between us. She said that she just got out of a bad relationship in which she was cheated on. She said she likes hanging out with me, but she needs more time. I told her I understood, and that we could take it slow and see where life takes us.

After saying all that, here is my question for you April.

I want to show her that I care, but I don’t want to smother her by texting too much. What do you think I should do? I want to see her again, but I feel that she’s not completely over her ex-boyfriend. Why do I keep thinking that I’m the rebound guy?

From the relatively little amount of time I have known her, she does not seem like the type to reciprocate affection very much. I tell her that I have feelings for her and she playfully tells me that I’m full of it. Maybe it’s because of what happened on that first date? Do you think there is any hope for this relationship to work out?

Thanks for hearing me out

[AskApril Masini]

[quote] I want to show her that I care, but I don’t want to smother her by texting too much. What do you think I should do? I want to see her again, but I feel that she’s not completely over her ex-boyfriend. Why do I keep thinking that I’m the rebound guy?[/quote]

You should ask her out on a date, and get to know her. It’s an opportunity for you to find out more about WHY you feel like a rebound guy, and whether or not that title you’re giving yourself is warranted — or not. Replace texting with phone calls and real life face time. 😀

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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