[Anonymous]

This is going to be kind of long, I’m sorry, but I really need some advice.

I am 20, and Jason is 22. We met when I was 14, and have been absolute best friends ever since. We would talk on the phone almost every night for about an hour every night. We flirted, went to prom together, and we’ve kissed…a few times….I’ve told him I was in love with him about three years ago, and he has since told me the same. He’s in the army and is currently overseas.

Well, I’ve been with my boyfriend (Garrett) for about two years. Since being together, Jason and I have talked less, but still remained very good friends. But we don’t flirt anymore and don’t talk about loving eachother like that (though we often say I love you as friends). Jason has had a girlfriend for about six months.

He called me today (from Iraq) and said him and his girlfriend are having problems and he doesn’t think it’s going to work out. We talked about it for awhile on the phone, and after we hung up, he sent me a facebook message saying “Is it bad that I kind of hope it doesn’t work out?”

My boyfriend and I get along, and I do love him and don’t want to hurt him. But, he’s never made me feel the way Jason does. Jason makes me happier than any person in the world, and when I’m upset he’s the only person I want to talk to. We have the same outlook on life, and have the same sense of humor. My boyfriend and I seem to butt heads on everything. I don’t want to hurt my boyfriend, and I am happy enough with him….but I don’t want to wonder my whole life, what if?

What do you think I should do? Thanks for all the help, I really really appreciate it!

[Ask April Masini]

First of all, don’t jump the gun. Lots of relationships go through ups and downs — in fact they ALL do! 😆 Jason may be having a bump in the road with his girlfriend and they make it through this bump — [i]or not[/i]. Regardless, you need to wait and see if he DOES break up with her or not. He may be sending up a trial balloon by talking to you about his problems in his relationship to see if you’re going to be his easy out of a tough time — [i]or,[/i] he may just be talking to you the way a dear friend who wants counseling does. Either way, tread lightly.

Secondly, don’t break up with your boyfriend because of Jason. Break up with him because you wrote me that you are “happy enough” with him. Happy enough? That doesn’t sound like a ringing endorsement of your relationship. 😕 Whether it’s Jason or another man you haven’t yet met, you’re too young to be settling for someone you don’t fully respect, love and want to be committed to. Imagine how you’d feel if you overheard your boyfriend telling someone that he was “happy enough” with you. 😳

I hope that helps — and that you’ll let me know how things go, as well as join me on Facebook at AskApril.com on Facebook, my new group page. You can access it and become a member here: [url][/url]. 🙂

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