[Anonymous]

Hey everyone… just wanted to get some opinions on the situation i’m in.

I’ve been in this relationship for 6 months now…. I got into it right after a breakup which might and might not have been a good idea. ANYWAYS– In the last relationship pretty much the only thing that made it last over a year was the copius ammounts of sex… good sex…

With my new girlfriend when we first started dating she had sex for the first time, and we had sex a few times after, and decided she wanted to be on birth control.

So she got on birthcontrol… and says since she’s lost all appeal for sex at all. like she doesn’t even want it. so we waited a month, and nothing still….

so she tried another kind… and in between birthcontrol we had sex again… but the second she got back on it…. she said that she feels nothing…. nothing I can do will turn her on…

Since then she’s tried 4 different kinds, and this last kind is the implenon(Spelling?) that is implanted into her arm for three years. we’ve had sex a total of three times… in the six months…

am I a bad person for wanting it? I just … am going insane- sleeping in the same bed and being unable to do anything… so I end up staying awake all night and it affects everything in my life negatively (IE: Work…)

I really like her, and for the first time ever, I feel like I can be friends with the person i’m dating, but now it feels like I will never have sex again….. it is so depressing and I don’t know what to do…. the Doctor says wait 3 more months and see what happens….

is there anything I can do? HELLLLPPPPPPPPPPPP 🙁

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You are not wrong for wanting an active sex life in your relationship. That your girlfriend’s sex drive has changed, can be a deal breaker, so see if she’s willing to try not using an ingested or implanted birth control device, but rather to use a barrier device like a diaphragm and condoms. These physical devices won’t change her body chemistry, and she should be able to gain her old desires back again.

It’s understandable that her doctor suggested she wait three months before trying something else — but see what he says about this plan, and remember, you can always seek a second opinion about this change in birth control from a different physician. In addition, the barrier methods of birth control will be much safer for her own body and health, in the long term, than any pill or injected or implanted method, so you’d be doing both of you good to make this switch.

Let me know how things go. 🙂

[Nick Roy]

I think it’s natural. Sometimes hormonal birth control can drastically reduce sexual desire, and this can disturb the relationship. Love is not just about emotions, it’s also about physical compatibility.
I appreciate April’s advice, and I think it’s better for both of you to talk openly about how to handle the Intimacy issue so that you will be able to find a solution that respects both of your needs. I hope it will make your relationship beautiful and enjoyable again.

[Eliana Solenn]

Sex 3x in 6 months and she feels nothing. That’s the answer.

[Freya Jhon]

If you’ve only had sex three times in six months and despite the girl’s efforts, it’s not making a difference, then it could be sexual incompatibility.
I think you two could be better off just being good friends.

[Member]

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