Dear April and Users:
I dated a guy for 4 years and I was very in love with him and he, with me. However, as time grew on, we grew apart and realized we just weren’t working anymore to be in a happy relationship for both of us. I admit that it was more him than me, but I also think I just wasn’t brave enough to pull the plug on someone and something that I loved so dearly, for so long.
To say I was heartbroken would be an understatement. I cried myself to sleep, during the day and even upon waking that is was another day without him. One day, I finally just felt tired of being so heartbroken over someone that was clearly so over me. So I cut all contact with him. I used my time, cut out the sappy songs and made the decision to be happy. It helped more than I ever thought it would until one day, he came strolling back into my life. (About a month later) I admit that as far as I’d come in getting over him, I still had a long way to go. We began getting more and more lovey dovey again with each other. Sending miss you texts and calling late at night when lonely. The first time I saw him after we broke up, we had sex and he told me he still loved me. I know it’s normal to have sex with an ex, but I’m unsure about the I love you thing.
He has admitted that he sometimes says mean and hurtful things to me because he wants me to hate him so he doesn’t fall back for me. Could be just an excuse but who knows.
My concern and question for opinion lies here–I still love him with my whole heart but in a different way. I want to eventually be friends with him and have him in my life but IS THIS POSSIBLE? I’m friends with other exes but none were serious and none I had feelings or history as I do with him. How do I get over him, yet still have him in my life? Our families are extremely close, and it hurts almost as much to not have him in my life at all than it does from being upset we aren’t together.
How do you truly get over someone (ANY SUGGESTIONS WELCOME) move on, and learn to be happy for them and myself in our new lives? He recently told me he was seeing another girl (I have my doubts whether it was a jealousy tactic or not) but regardless, I found myself very very upset. It’s been 4 months since breaking up and I feel I should be over this by now.
Do you really get over and able to be happy for someone with such history? If so, what are your suggestions for such a heartbreaking situation? I will listen and do anything any of you have found helpful in getting over someone you loved. There are no silly answers.
Sincerely,
Heartbroken and Confused
