[Ask April Masini]

I think you already did it! 😉 There’s nothing else to do at this point. If you like a guy and want to date him, you have to give him reason to ask you out. It’s that simple. When he feels like you’re scheduling him in, he may feel that you’ve got other priorities and you’re not that interested. I’m not talking about being too available, but it seems like you lost focus and instead of treating him like an attractive guy you’d like to date, you treated him a little more like a business appointment that need attention. 😕

Since you’ve written 10 pages of questions that I’ve answered here, 😮 I hope you’ll buy [b]Think & Date Like A Man[/b], because it’s going to help you a lot, answer questions like these so you don’t have to worry after the fact, and also support this site. Here’s the link: [url]http://askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]

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[Scarlet]

I have bought and read Think and Date Like A Man. I couldn’t help that I have promised my daughter certain plans for Halloween.

Since we have each other’s numbers and are set up to text, what if I send him a text, ask whether he’s having a good time, and let him know I wish I could have made it?

[Scarlet]

I didn’t tell him this, but I had a prior commitment for Halloween with my daughter tonight and could not change it.

Anyway, what do you think of this text?

Hey, Happy Halloween! I’m so jealous that you are getting to go to crawl-o-week, while I have plans that can’t be changed. Crawl-o-ween sounds like fun, especially when there is a “mysterious one in the mask” (also known as “G”) lurking around! BOO!

Do you think that would be flirty enough to let him know I’m interested and get things moving for another time when I can make it?

[Ask April Masini]

I think the text is a little too desperate, since he already asked and you said no. You’ll see him in yoga class again, and you can flirt with him in person there. 😉

That’s my advice!

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[Scarlet]

Bottom line: I met a new guy, but don’t know how to react to his inviting me to his town for a first date.

We live in towns about 45 minutes away from each other and met Thursday night through a mutual friend who lives in the middle. He asked me for my card and he emailed me that night – just a simple “nice to meet you, would like to chat again sometime soon.” I responded in kind a little less than 24 hours later (late Friday afternoon).

He responded with an hour and said he’d “like to invite me” to his town and show me some restaurants. He’ll be out if town Monday night through Thursday night for business bit is “available when you are.”

I like this guy and would like to give it a chance, but I’m concerned that my driving to his town is not a good precedent to set for a first date. I think he should be driving over here and taking me out here to impress me, for a first date, at least, if not also the second and third.

How do you think I should respond?

Thanks!

[Ask April Masini]

I think you’re absolutely right. You can tell him that you’d love to see him, but you’re just too busy to get out there. 😉

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[Sally]

Yeah, I’ve been in that spot. There was this guy who said all the right things, talked about wanting a real relationship, but after a while it was just messages and no plans. I kept hoping he’d follow through, but deep down I knew if he really wanted to, he would have.

It hurts because that spark doesn’t go away right away. But I learned not to chase someone who only shows up halfway. You can still enjoy talking to him, just don’t hang your heart on it. Let him be a maybe while you stay open to someone who’s sure.

If he really wants to see you again, he’ll make it happen. And if not, you’ll already be moving on, and that ends up feeling a lot lighter.

[Val Unfiltered💋]

girl… he’s giving pen-pal energy, not boyfriend vibes 😩 like, all talk, no tickets booked?? if he wanted to see you, he’d already be there! whatever. you’re not a backup plan or his “maybe someday” option, okayy?. keep the banter if it’s fun, but stop investing like it’s love. let him chase the silence for once. chemistry’s cute, but consistency? that’s the real spark. 💅✨

[Ethan Morales]

You’re experiencing a classic “maybe” situation he shows interest in words but not in action. Words like “I want a relationship” or “let’s see each other again” are meaningless if he never actually commits to making concrete plans. His behavior emailing a few times a week without firm dates suggests he’s keeping you on the hook for attention and banter, not because he genuinely wants a relationship with you.

Your instincts are correct: continuing to invest emotionally in him is keeping you from meeting someone who actually prioritizes you. Chemistry is exciting, but it’s not enough on its own. Real connection requires action, not just conversation.

He’s not showing real interest. Your enjoyment of his banter is understandable, but it’s keeping you stuck in a fantasy rather than reality. Moving on emotionally and physically, even while still polite or friendly, is the healthiest choice. Trust your mind here it’s seeing the situation clearly, and your heart will adjust once you stop hanging on to “what could be.”

[PassionSeeker]

I’ve seen this movie before and trust me, it doesn’t suddenly turn into a love story in act three. if a guy really wants to see you, he finds a way. no one’s “too busy” to make time for someone they’re excited about. what he’s giving you right now? it’s breadcrumb energy just enough to keep you nibbling, not enough to fill you.

so yeah, text if you feel like it, but don’t chase. don’t rearrange your world to fit into his “maybe.” you’ve already shown interest your part’s done. let him do the next move if he’s serious.

meanwhile, live your life. go out, flirt, let new energy in. the right guy won’t make you wonder where you stand you’ll know, because he’ll show up, not just type it.

remember: you’re the main character, not the waiting room.

[Tara]

Stop romanticizing scraps. If a man wants you, he moves with intention, not lazy emails and vague fantasies about “seeing each other again.” He already showed you what real effort looks like when he visited the first time, and the fact that he hasn’t repeated it tells you exactly where you stand you’re a backup file he hasn’t bothered to delete. You’re clinging to “chemistry” because it’s easier than admitting you’re tolerating disrespect, and every message you entertain from him drags down your standards and your chances of meeting someone who actually shows up. Drop him, stop replying, and reclaim your self-respect because the only thing you’re waiting on here is the moment you finally get tired of being an option instead of a choice.

[Sally]

It’s flattering at first all the sweet words, all the “next time we hang out” stuff. But after a while you start noticing the pattern: he brings up plans, but he never actually makes them. That’s not confusion. That’s convenience.

And you’re right, someone who wants to see you will see you. They won’t leave you hanging in email limbo while they keep their real life somewhere else.
You don’t have to cut him off cold. Just shift your energy. Stop waiting on him. Stop reading into his little comments. If he ever wants something real, he’ll show up with an actual date, not a tease.

Let your heart be open, but not on hold.

You’re not a maybe. He should treat you like a yes or leave you alone.

[Natalie Noah]

the pattern with both the long-distance guy and the local guy is worth noting. With the long-distance guy, he expresses interest but keeps everything vague, never commits to specific plans, and continues to keep his options open while emotionally dangling you. This is classic “limbo dating,” and it’s exhausting it makes your mind spin and keeps you questioning your worth and his intentions. You like him because of chemistry and flirting, but his actions aren’t matching his words. Chemistry alone cannot sustain a relationship; actions need to back up interest. You’re not wrong for feeling frustrated or impatient it’s a healthy, intuitive reaction.

With the local guy who has a child and past relationships, the communication gaps like the five-day silence are signals. While it’s not necessarily a dealbreaker by itself, combined with his apparent unwillingness to consistently communicate and his complicated co-parenting situation, it does point to a man who is either emotionally inconsistent or potentially commitment-phobic. You’re noticing the signs, and that awareness is protective, not overreactive. Wanting regular check-ins is reasonable, especially after seven months. It’s not controlling it’s about mutual respect and consideration.

Your frustration with online dating and the “dating game” is completely valid. This phase can feel like a performance review, a mental chess match, or a tedious negotiation, especially when you’ve been out of the dating world for a while. Men often fail to recognize that women want clarity and initiative not endless tests or games. Your instinct to step forward, provide your email, and try to move things off the platform is healthy. You are prioritizing real connection over digital limbo. Your frustration here is not only understandable it’s a sign of self-respect.

The tension you feel between desire, chemistry, and practical reality is a common one. Chemistry is magnetic, but if a man consistently fails to make plans, commit, or communicate, that chemistry becomes a trap. It keeps you emotionally invested without giving you tangible returns. It’s important to separate “liking” from “relationship viability.” You can enjoy flirting and banter, but that doesn’t obligate you to wait indefinitely or hope someone steps up.

About managing multiple options and new dating prospects it’s okay to explore, but be intentional. Don’t let the allure of chemistry or nostalgia stop you from noticing men who actually show up, pursue, and communicate clearly. The two “more interested” guys you’re dating locally, for example, are a better indicator of present potential. Chemistry feels exciting, but action is what predicts long-term compatibility.

Your instinct to protect your time, heart, and energy is critical. Don’t feel compelled to keep responding to a man who continually tests your patience without showing commitment. You are not rude for prioritizing your needs. In fact, showing standards and boundaries will naturally filter out the ones who are serious and eliminate those who are just “playing.”

Your question about answering the online dating question “Do you enjoy the dating game?” here’s a subtle approach: you can be honest without sounding negative or cynical. Something like: “Not really I prefer meaningful connections over playing games. How about you?” This acknowledges your perspective, communicates maturity, and turns the focus back to him. It signals you’re looking for substance, not just flirtation or casual messaging.

Overall, your frustration is healthy, your awareness is sharp, and your desire for clarity is exactly what you need to avoid wasted emotional energy. Keep prioritizing action over flirtation, clarity over chemistry, and real connection over vague promises. Your heart deserves both excitement and respect not just one without the other.

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