[Sahil]

Hi April,
I had long distance relation for 5 years.Everything was going fine.We talked every day for about 5-6 hours.FaceTime was also used.She used to care for me a lot &supported me a lot.She can’t see tears in my eyes.She was an emotionalperson.We haven’t met for 3 years &before the breakup her family was planning to come to my country as they have a home here.somehow things weren’t our ways &the program got cancelled.after few weeks, she declared that she don’t have feelings for me and I was shocked and surprised.Afterthis,I made her realise everything.Tried to make her understand and convinced her with almost everything &this had gone 2 months regular.We had good times &bad times in this phase as well.But everytime she claims that she don’t feel anything for me.I tried to convince her that to meet me once &she said that she don’t want to come.last week she made her final choice by saying that she is finally leaving me& has blocked me from every thing so that I can’t contact her anymore.Next day I sent her mails, begging her, requesting her &you know showing all my weakness by expressing myself that I am almost dead &all.The reply from the other side really shocked me like hell.She said that she don’t want me anymore,feeling light now,5 years meant nothing for her,made best decision and will not regret,will file a case &ruin myfuture if I sent her messages again for harassing,hating me &the fact that she loved me once, criticising every moment.I still was hurted.She insulted me in almost every message but I didn’t.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m sorry that you’re having such a rough time getting over the break up. Since you wrote in your pre-posting questionnaire, that you’re both 22 and this is a 5 year relationship, it sounds like it’s probably your first serious relationship as well. That makes it more important and a little more difficult to move past. Unfortunately, there’s no short cut for getting through this tough situation — break ups are painful and they take time to heal. But if you focus on what is good in your life and stay busy, seeing friends and family and focusing on school, work, volunteer work and other worthy parts of life, the break up will be less painless. Try not to let yourself get down too often — and if you feel you are, call a friend or family member to talk to and go to a movie with or to go for a walk in the park. Staying busy and keeping those who care about you, close, is the best thing you can do until you start to feel like the relationship is part of your past.

I hope that helps and that you feel better soon.

[Member]

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