I’ve known this really great man for about 4 years now. We met while I was dating his cousin and after the cousin and I split this great men, we’ll call him Joe, and I lost touch. Recently Joe found me on Facebook and we started chatting about life. I found out he was in the middle of a divorce and he found out my child’s dad decided he didn’t want to be a father anymore and left. We confided in each other for about a month. Talking on the phone, texting, and Facebook messages became the norm. A favorite topic of conversation between he and I was sex. I’m a very sexual person and in touch with my sensuality. These conversations were exciting to say the least. He mentioned several times that it would be fun to try a “Friends with Benefits” relationship with me. I politely declined every time stating that I couldn’t give 50% of myself, that wouldn’t be fair to me. A few days after his last request he stopped communication all together. I assumed he moved on or worked things out with his wife. After about a month I was browsing friends’ Facebook pages and his had pictures of him and another woman that wasn’t his wife. I sent him a message asking how he was and instead of writing back he called me. He told me the woman in the picture was “psycho” and thought they were dating. He ended it with her after she called too often and sent him pictures of her naked body parts too often. I told him that he could do better than a woman who only knew how to lie on her back. He proceeded to tell me everything she didn’t/wouldn’t do in bed and I told him that I could do so much better than her. For some strange reason I decided to give this “Friends with Benefits” thing a try because I haven’t had sex in so long and thought it would be fun.
I was not disappointed, and neither was he. We had an amazing night together. He called several nights later and after talking for about an hour he suggested we “hook up” again. The sex is fun and the chemistry is out of this world so I was all for this type of relationship, under one condition, he was never to treat me like a hook up. He promised it wouldn’t be like that. He also had a condition, if one of us starts to have feelings for the other, we have to stop because he said my friendship meant a lot to him and he didn’t want to hurt that relationship. Well, I find myself waiting for his call or text. Being disappointed when I don’t hear from him and genuinely missing him. I’ve made it a point not to call or text him unless he does so first. Everything we’ve done has been initiated by him. So my question is, how can I go from casual to committed? How do I make him want more than sex from me?
