[bodyshop15]

Hi i’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost 8months..
He’s not my first boyfriend but he’s the first person I gave my virginity (i’m 22)
and trust me..although some ppl think keeping it is just stupid but well
I really think he is the one..or he “was” the one
I know he loves me alot…and I love him a lot too..
but sigh the money problem didn’t really matter the first 7 mths because
I tried zillions of times to understand it and try to think not so bad
I was brought up by quite independent mother and I really don’t think guys should pay for everything
nor girls should expect guys to get brand bags and things.
but it’s getting to the point now I can’t understand.
I’m not a rich girl and I don’t seek for luxury but sometimes its not bad to go out good restaurants try good food
once in one or two months .. but my bf never… took me to good restaurants
always under 20$(for 2) always 5$ each meal places.. always same places
so i gave up and spent those times with my girlfriends and he gets pissed off for spending those good new places
with my friends instead of him
so I asked him would you have gone anyway..? and he got so offensed that i think hes a bit cheap but later says um…its waste of money those places true I wouldnt have gone
I took him few times to good restaurants and paid for him since he won’t go to those places since its not “worth it”.. its not even like extravagant restaruants I want to go it was 50$ under for two ppl ..
I mean I don’t expect him to pay for it and he probably knows it too! but is it that hard to go once in awhile
its not only food .. we always go park, spend time at home, go places if he has free entries/offers..
I mean… I’m a girl too sometimes I want memories at special places like spa-ing together, go for sailing.. gawd I really wanted to try paintballing once ( never tried in my life ) and there was offer 20$ each person which my friend invited me.. I BEGGED him to go with me but ended up him not wanting to go because its “not worth the money”
On our 6mths he took me a restaurant which was under 10$ each person… and he went to separate counter to pay for himself and left me paying mine… although I don’t expect much I kind of felt crap however later he gave me a brand necklace and I felt really bad thought to myself I should understand… and a week later him, his friends I went out for dinner together and my boyfriends friends saw the necklace and asked where got?
my boyfriend says i got her for 6 mths! and all his friends laughing and say u r so cheap seriously that’s the cheapest one in the shop gawd don’t be so cheap on ur gf! and i was so….so embarrassed …
everytime we go out somewhere ..say clubbing or party (which we hardly go) he says gawd should start saving money.. I think I hear that sentence ” gawd should seriously save money ” “save money ” save money” and sometimes i get so annoyed and want to shout “fk how much do u want to save? like 9999999$?”
do i only worth this much to him.. if he is financially difficult then I really don’t care but seriously..
he earns more money than me, his familys quite rich buy him car, pay for his uni fee
whereas me.. I earn my own uni fee and my parents pretty much raise me independent so yeh..
I’m really getting tired and i’m reaching the limit of understanding that.. he did pay for me few times and since i’m used to him being so cheap.. I get nervous when he pays for me thinking like should i just give him half?
I love him so much and I’m sure he does too.. he writes me all those nice letters say sweet things be there for me when I’m in trouble .. he’s quite cheap in general.. to his friends, to himself etc but I can’t wonder sometimes
am I not worth that much to him.. can’t i deserve one nice meal one nice place ?
but I just can’t stand it anymore and I want to fix it but he once got offensed before so i don’t know how to say.. it’s keep accumulating in my mind and I’m scared it will reach to the point of breaking up
please help me how I should deal with this..:/

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like your boyfriend isn’t cheap only with you — it sounds like he’s cheap with everyone and everything. So understand that this problem isn’t about his feelings for you. It’s about who he is.

I assume you’ve discussed this problem with him calmly (and not angrily), and also showed him with positive reinforcement and flirtation how happy you are when he does show generosity with you. Since these methods haven’t worked, I’m afraid you have an incompatibility problem. Because he is your first lover, you’re probably more attached to him, emotionally, than you might be otherwise. But eventually this problem is going to be a deal breaker. 😳

It’s important to choose men to date with whom you’re compatible — and luckily, you know yourself well enough to understand the kind of lifestyle you want to share with your man. Now, you just have to find a man who is compatible with you in that way!

I hope that helps. Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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