[STEVEYO]

HELLO, IM A 43 YEAR OLD GUY WHO LOOKS AND ACTS MUCH YOUNGER. IM DIVORCED, HAVE 2 KIDS AND ENGAGED TO A GORGEOUS 28 YEAR OLD GIRL WHO IVE BEEN DATING AND LIVING WITH FOR THE PAST 4 YEARS. I LOVE MY FIANCE MORE THAN ANYTHING BUT I FIND MYSELF IN A CRAZY SITUATION. I THINK IM IN LOVE WITH HER MOTHER ! HER MOM IS 58, DIVORCED, LOOKS AND ACTS MUCH MUCH YOUNGER AND LIVES DIRECTLY ACROSS THE STREET FROM US. THIS WOMAN IS JUST AS INCREDIBLE LOOKING AS MY FIANCE, MY FIANCE IS JUST A YOUNGER VERSION OF HER. BUT THERES JUST MORE TO HER, SHE AS THE MOST INCREDIBLE PERSONALITY THAT GOES ALONG WITH HER LOOKS. SHE’S A FREE SPIRIT AND IS ALWAYS LAUGHING AND HAVING FUN. SHE IS JUST SO APPEALING TO ME AND I FIND MYSELF WANTING TO BE AROUND HER MORE AND MORE. WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN VERY CLOSE BEFORE I EVEN STARTED DATING MY FIANCE DUE TO THE FACT THAT I WAS A FAMILY FRIEND. HER AND I CONFIDE IN EACHOTHER ALOT AND SHE SEEMS TO ENJOY TELLING ME THINGS SHE WOULDNT EVEN TELL HER OWN CHILDREN. WE OFTEN HANG OUT TOGETHER ALONE DRINKING WINE, LAUGHING AND JUST TALKING. THERE WAS A TIME WHEN THERE WAS KIND OF SOMETHING BETWEEN HER AND I BEFORE MY FIANCE AND I STARTED DATING. WE KISSED A FEW TIMES AND WENT AT IT BUT NEVER HAD SEX. THINGS OF COURSE CHANGED WHEN I STARTED DATING HER DAUGHTER BUT IT WAS NEVER AN ISSUE TO HER FROM WHAT I COULD TELL, SINCE SHE WAS ALWAYS IN AND OUT OF RELATIONSHIPS IT SEEMED AS IF I WAS NEVER AN ISSUE TO HER. TIME WENT ON, WE WERENT AS CLOSE AS WE ONCE WERE AND NOW SHE MOVED RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET FROM US AND I FIND MYSELF NOT BEING ABLE TO GET HER OUT OF MY HEAD. WE DONT HANG OUT TOGETHER AS MUCH AS I LIKE BECAUSE SHE SAYS THAT IT DOESNT LOOK RIGHT FOR THE 2 OF US TO BE ALONE TOGETHER IN HER HOUSE, SHE’S VERY STERN ABOUT IT. I ABIDE BY HER RULE BUT I FIND MYSELF THE LAST 6 MONTHS TEXTING HER EVERY CHANCE I GET AND BEING VERY FORWARD ABOUT MY FEELINGS ABOUT HER. THERE ARE TIMES WHERE SHE GETS UNCOMFORTABLE AND TEXTS BACK TELLING ME SHE HAS TO GO OR CANT TALK RIGHT NOW. EVEN WITH THAT THERE ARE TIMES SHE AGREES TO HANG OUT LIKE LAST WEEK WE WENT TO THE LOCAL BAR AND HAD LUNCH AND A FEW DRINKS TOGETHER AND SHE TALKED ABOUT EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING WITH ME AS USUAL. I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO MAKE OF IT ALL OR WHAT TO DO ABOUT THE WHOLE SITUATION BUT ALL I KNOW IS THAT IM SO HAPPY AND TURNED ON WHEN IM WITH HER EVEN IF ITS FOR AND HOUR OR TWO. I WOULD NEVER WANT TO HURT MY FIANCE BUT I CANT GET THIS WOMAN OUT OF MY HEAD NO MATTER WHAT I TRY, SHE JUST DOES IT FOR ME ON ALL LEVELS, CAN SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE ?

[AskApril Masini]

I’m going to help you, but you won’t like my advice. 😕

I take it you never told your fiance that you made out with her mother before you dated her. Imagine how she’d feel if she ever found out. 😯 The fact that you’re in love with her mother and are pursuing her and having glasses of wine together and even lunch, is a sure sign that you are clearly not ready to be married to anyone! The relationship with your fiance is over. There is no way you can make this work, but frankly, I don’t think you want to. That said, you need to break up with her and have her move out, or else move yourself and your children out of the house so you don’t have contact with her any more.

The relationship with her mother isn’t going to go anywhere because her mother will never date you after you’ve broken up an engagement to her daughter. If she does, then you’re dating a pretty twisted woman and as a father, you need to be very careful who you bring home. Your children are going to be affected by your behavior and the people you bring into their lives.

I’m not sure how long you were divorced before you started dating your fiance over four years ago, but clearly, you’re not ready to choose wisely. Sometimes it’s better to play the field and get to know YOURSELF better so that you can choose a woman who is your Ms. Right. It doesn’t sound like you’re ready to date one woman because you’re still figuring out who is right for you. Until that time, slow down. Play the field. Be single for now.

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[STEVEYO]

The children don’t live with me and I’ve been divorced for a while now as was single for a few years and went nuts and had fun. Believe it or not I love my fiancé to death and want nobody but her except for the exception of her mom. But my thing is if her mom wasn’t interested to begin with then why is she the way she is with me? Tells me everything that goes on in her life, asks advice, drinks and eats with me, goes to the beach with me, bars etc. She acknowledges I’m her future son in law, but I cant feel that there’s more… I was originally supposed to have been setup on a date with her mom but it was more of hanging out that we did, making out, touching, mutual masturbation, phone sex that went on for a few months, then her daughter, my fiancé, swooped in and took me away from it all….do u think perhaps deep down her mother has a thing against her for doing that? I just don’t know what to make of it all and if her mom was to tell me tomorrow that she decided to have sex with me and her daughter could never find out I would do it in a heartbeat!!! It’s not that unsoundly feel bad, I would, but I just feel as if I never finished off with the mother like I wanted to and I want her more now then I did then!!!

[AskApril Masini]

You may love your fiance, but clearly, you don’t respect her. 😳 Your idea of love is pretty warped. When you love someone you want the best for them. You, however, don’t want the best for your fiance. You want what you want even though it’s going to hurt the woman you want to marry. 😯 And by the way, just because you don’t live with your children doesn’t mean you’re not their father. You’re responsible for raising two young children into men and women. I know you want me to give you some kind of permission to pursue your relationship with your fiance’s mother, but I would never do that. When you say that you’d have sex with her mother in a heartbeat as long as your fiance would never find out, your commitment to her is conditioned. Your first marriage failed and your second one is destined to failure as long as it’s to this woman. You really have no business marrying anyone right now. You need to figure out what a healthy relationship means and how to be in one — when you’re ready.

Your current confusion is your own doing. I think I’ve shed light on the problem. I hope you’ll walk away from creating chaos and hurting people and move towards a healthy relationship in the immediate future.

[Member]

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