[pandabear98]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little more than 3 years now. We met our freshman year of college, I’m 21 and he’s 22. When we first starting dating things were great, we were happy, had fun all the time and I truly enjoyed his company and having sex with him, sometimes multiple times a day. About 7 months into our relationship my sex drive went way down; at first we thought it was because I got on the Nuvaring but I stopped that after 2 months and the amount of sex we have has only decreased. When I ask myself if I’m happy with him sometimes I think yes but other times, and more and more frequently, I find myself questioning that yes. A few months ago I was actually really unhappy in our relationship; I went away for the weekend and ended up sleeping with someone else. It was the best sex that I’ve had in a while but I felt so much guilt afterwards and promised myself I’d never do it again. I didn’t tell him about it but I after I got back I did talk about breaking up with him and then things just got messy and I felt so bad that I just changed my mind and decided to work on things. When we were talking about things that needed improvement in our relationship I couldn’t even think of ONE tangible, reasonable thing that would make me so unhappy in this relationship. So, currently I’d say I’m happy being with him, but we barely have sex and I’m increasingly wanting to have sex with other people. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I feel this way because I’m so young and I feel like I want to go and just have fun and not be tied down, but then I think breaking up with him to ‘have fun’ is stupid and like I’ll regret that decision later on, even though sometimes I don’t even think I can see myself marrying him like I used to (although I don’t plan on marrying till I’m like, 28 at least). I don’t know what to do and I’m just so close to cheating on him again.. I feel like such a horrible person.

[AskApril Masini]

You’ve backed yourself into a corner by deciding to be with someone you don’t really want to be with anymore — and then feeling terrible about your decision. 😳 You’re only 21 years old and the odds are that this (probably) first serious boyfriend of 3 years, isn’t going to be the man you wind up with for the long run. It sounds like this relationship you have with him has run it’s course, because you haven’t really talked about reasons for staying with him — just leaving him. So, staying in it with him, is just making you — and probably him, too — miserable. I think its’ time for you to move on.

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[Balanca]

The things you’ve shared are clear signs of an unhealthy relationship. As April suggested your relationship has completed its course and It seems like there is no chemistry left between you two. So prolonging this any more will only make this relationship more messier and in the end you’ll end up hating each other. So It’s right time to break up. You’re no longer honest with him and honesty is the key factor of any successful relationship. You don’t have attraction towards him so It’s time to move on. In the beginning, It will be difficult but things will be normal with the time.

[AskApril Masini]

It’s hard for most people to let go, but when a relationship is over, sticking around just means festering.

[Member]

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