[BrownEyes]

Hello April, hope you can help. I have been web searching and asking for advice on my situation. Most of my replies are TO MOVE ON. Part of me knows that but then you have others that say your ex still has feeling for you, on the rebound that relationship wont last, etc, etc.

HERE IS MY STORY/SITUATION:

I was married and pregnant at a young age (18). Divorced two yrs. later, single mother of two teenagers. Tried dating but had trust issues and compared them to my ex. I moved to Naples in 2003 and ever since I moved here have not been on a date, until Oct of 2010 where I stepped out if the box a started dating a woman her name is. I was in a relationship for 5 months during those months there was ups and downs but she treated me great. But my self-esteem, trust issues, not showing my emotion to her affected the relationship. She knew what I went through with me ex, he was verbally abusive. She didn’t care that I wasn’t ready to let people know about us, especially my family and friends. She just wanted me to break down that wall. She was such a good positive person in my life. On 4/10/11 she broke it off. Two weeks later we talked about trying to work things out because we both had issues. So we needed to work on ourselves. She suggested for us to take it slow. But during that time she was hanging out with her “best friends”. I just found it strange since while we were together they hardly hanged out. I asked her if anything was going on and she told me no that her friend was not like that. During all this taking it slow. I keep asking her to come over or let’s do something. Sometimes she did and sometimes we didn’t. One day I asked her to come over that I would like to talk to her. She did we talk and we were intimate with each other. Didn’t talk for a while, so again I asked her what is going on. Are we going to try to work this out or not? She said she does but she is really scared because she doesn’t want to get hurt and she was tired of the break up and make up. A week later, she send me a text that she started dating someone and to please leave her alone. Maybe we can be friends again but she needs time and needs to process.
And who is she dating her “best friend”. They went away to PR for the summer, and what is shocking to me is that we were supposed to go to PR for our one year anniversary/bday in October. I have text-ed her, emailed her and written letters asking her to forgive me. Let’s be friends since we were friends before getting involve. I knew her 2 yrs. before we got involve. I do love her and miss her. But she never gave me the chance to change.

On 9/15/2011 – I believe I did something STUPID!

I night I work at a technical school and she worked in the daytime as a teacher. Well I saw her today. I was coming out of the production room back to the lobby and she was walking in. I had to go back in to drop some paper in the production room. I was going the back way to go to the bookstore….decided to make a stop in the production room where she was at and said to her are you ever going to speak to me again. She looked at me and said I don’t know. I said why, she said cause it weird and if that is what I wanted. I said I have been the one that has been texting, emailing and writing letter about being friends again. Again she said it’s weird and I said you are in a good place and you are happy. We were fiends before getting involved…..why we can be friends again. She asked me why do I want to be friends and I said because I miss my friend. We were quiet for a while. I said damn you continue to lose weight, she said yeah and the doctor wants me to gain. I’m trying, even my girlfriend try to get me fat. And she mentions how my kids are doing. I told what they were up to. She mentioned that she went to PR and I said damn that was supposed to be our one year anniversary trip. She just laughed and said her girlfriend’s family lives there. I said you don’t have to keep saying girlfriend. Why not just say name, the person that you said doesn’t go that way. She said she didn’t, we were friends for a long time and that she approached her and they didn’t start dating until May. I said that was quick, since we broke up in April. How does that work you fall in and out of love so quick. She didn’t answer. Then I said my bday is next month. I’m a getting a red velvet cake (she got that for me last year when she was throwing hints that she liked me). She just laughed. I ask her about her daughter). She asked me if I was dating I said no. Focusing on me right now. She asked what I was doing for xmas. I said don’t know probably say here again. I asked her if she was going to her mom’s she said no her daughter is. She is going on a cruise. Got quiet again and she said well I have to meet my girlfriend for dinner. I said thank you for chatting with me, she said you’re welcome, say hi to the kids. I said say hi to your daughter and your girl and maybe I can meet her one day if you choose to be my friend. She continues waking away while I was saying this and she would not look at me. So I chased her and started hugging her and giving her a kiss on the check. I said give me a hug she did and then stop. I just want to say I still love you and want to be your friend. Miss you and we need to stop acting like kids. She just left. Then I text-ed her and said sorry for the hug and kiss – no disrespect.
SO I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!! I still love her and miss her. And if I can win her back that would be GREAT. If not I would like to have her back in my life as friends.

😥 ❓ 😥 ❓

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Desperation is not an attractive quality, and that’s what you’re starting to exhibit. 😳 She doesn’t want to be friends with you. She’s moved on. I know you’re rejected and you don’t like it, and you’re trying to make excuses to convince yourself that there’s still something left for you to hold onto, but my advice is to let go. This isn’t going to get better if you continue to chase someone who isn’t interested in dating you.

Instead, find someone who is! 😀

Staying friends with an ex is always a bad idea — you want more than the ex does, and sometimes it’s the other way around. Once you have sex with someone, the relationship changes. Being “just friends” again isn’t possible.

I hope you’ll follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

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