[Chevytruckgirl0918]

I am 21 years old and currently engaged to my fiancé of 2 and a half years. The problem that I am having with our relationship is I can not get over him cheating on me. He admitted to me around may that when we first dated (for the first 1-3 months) he was cheating on me with Another girl he messed around with before we got together. It took me awhile to trust him in the first place because every time I get close with someone they hurt me in one way or another ( when I was 18 I was sexually assaulted by a family member). The reason I came up with that he cheated on me was because when we first got together I wouldn’t sleep with him for the first three months and he is use to girls that put out and since I wasnt giving it up he went else where. He told me that when we finally got intimated he quit it with her because he wanted to see what wood happen with me. I had a feeling for months that he was cheating because he always defended her if I call her a whore or would say that she was his friends with benefits.i am really in love with this guy but I always make him feel guilty for him doing it,( he apologized multiple times and feels horrible that he did it in the first place.) I have a lot of trust issues but I don’t want to end my relationship because there no one else I want to be with, I am happiest with him. How can I move on?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I always advise people that during the first three months of dating, both people are probably playing the field because there can’t really be a commitment until you get to know each other. So in my book, it should have been assumed that he was dating and even sleeping with someone else until you each decided on giving it a go, monogamously. Which is exactly what he did. So, unless he came out and blatantly lied to you, I don’t think that what he did was so wrong. You were expecting monogamy before there was a commitment. Oops. 😳

Since you say he’s now monogamous and committed to you, it’s your responsibility to drop this. I know you have past issues with trust, but it’s time to change your behavior and stop bringing this up. If you continue bringing it up, it’s going to cause him to leave because you’re giving him a problem he just can’t solve, and men don’t want to be seen as people who can’t solve their woman’s problems. They want to be able to make their women feel good. If he can’t, he’ll leave.

So let it go. And focus on what you do have! 😀

I hope that helps. Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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