[neme]

Hey everyone. I’m in college and I have been dating a guy for the past 6 months.
Recently I found out from his text messages that he is still in touch with his ex who is living in another city and he invited her over here to “have some fun.”
I haven’t had sex with him even though he asked for it many a time. I wonder is this the reason why he wants to get back to his ex. When I talked to him, he said she is just a “friend” and he loves only me. What irritates me the most is he did not apologise for what he did and he wants to continue being in touch with her. Should I ask him to choose between me and her?
I’m upset and not talking to him right now. I really like him and love being with him. What do I do? Please help.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I can understand your confusion — college and dating can be a confusing mixture! 😉

Your boyfriend has feelings for you, but he wants to have sex and his ex-girlfriend is willing. Men have sex because they can, and he’s a young man with an interest in experimenting and feeling free. He has an ability to separate his feelings from his sex life, which women don’t, usually.

Don’t give him an ultimatum. It won’t work. He’ll feel trapped. Instead, accept that this is who he is, and he isn’t compatible with you right now. You’re looking for someone who’s more interested in a monogamous commitment and he isn’t. I know it’s disappointing, but be glad you haven’t invested more time in someone who isn’t Mr. Right. 😉 Dating is a process that allows you to figure out the answer to who Mr. Right is for you. 🙂

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