[monrich]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for more than 2 years starting 2014, but I just found out last 2016 that he already have 2 kids with another woman. I confronted him, but he said the woman got pregnant but both of them have separate relationship at that time. He said he was not ready, so what the woman did was telling his boyfriend that she was pregnant with their child so they got married. My boyfriend and the woman decided to hide the truth and still communicating which each other. Then it happened again for their 2nd Child. Still they hid it to the husband of the girl.

We met after the 2nd child was born he said. I was so frustrated that even though I already have the Idea that he is cheating on me I still love him him very much. Then the woman found out about us because of the photo of us I posted on a social media and then my boyfriend told me that the girl got angry and told him that he will not see their children anymore because he cheated on him. I was so disappointed that my boyfriend got angry with me because of what happened. But I still chase him telling him that I understand even though it hurts and frustrating. I don’t know what happened to me that I still love him very much even though he cheated on me for more than 2 years. But today we are okey because he told me that he still want us to be okey and he just want to fix his relationship w/ the kids.

Should I still continue this relationship despite what happened? Should I still trust him?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re dating someone who lied to you about having kids, and even worse, he’s complicit with the mother of his children in tricking her boyfriend into believing the kids are [i]his [/i]— so that poor guy is paying to support your boyfriend’s children as well as loving them like they’re his own. This is pretty despicable. 😯 [b][i]Of course[/i][/b], you should leave him and find someone who is honest, respectful and good. You aren’t confused. You’re disappointed and you don’t want to have to stand up for what’s right — people like your boyfriend look for folks like you who he can control and keep from doing the right thing. Time for you to man up. 😉

[Ethan Morales]

You’ve been dating your boyfriend for over two years. You recently discovered he has two children with another woman. He claims the woman got pregnant while they were in separate relationships, and both children’s paternity was hidden from her husband. Despite this, you continued the relationship, loving him even though he cheated and lied. Recently, he wants to “fix things” with his kids and claims he wants to be okay with you again.

Lies and deception He didn’t just hide the children. he was actively involved in deceiving others about paternity. That’s not a small mistake; it shows a pattern of dishonesty and manipulation.

Cheating and emotional manipulation. He cheated on you while maintaining a complicated, deceptive relationship with the other woman. You continued to chase him despite the hurt, which shows your emotional investment but also leaves you vulnerable.

Trust is broken. Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Someone who has lied repeatedly about something as serious as children and paternity has proven they are not trustworthy.

April’s assessment is blunt but accurate: this is not a healthy relationship to continue. He’s shown that he prioritizes his own convenience and deception over honesty and respect for you. Staying with him will likely continue to hurt you, because his actions have already shown his moral boundaries and pattern of behavior.

The “I want us to be okay” now is too little, too late it’s not a guarantee of honesty or loyalty in the future.

Leave him. You deserve someone who is honest, respectful, and capable of giving you the trust and stability you need in a relationship. Continuing to invest in this man will only prolong emotional pain and frustration.

[Marcus king]

Honestly, you’ve already given this man more grace than he’s earned.
He lied to you for *years* about something as big as having two children and continued a secret relationship with their mother. That’s not a mistake, that’s a pattern.

When someone hides the truth this deeply, it isn’t about being “not ready,” it’s about being dishonest and selfish. You can love him and still accept that he’s not trustworthy right now. If you stay, you’ll need more than words , you’ll need consistent honesty and transparency over time. But if you’re already exhausted and questioning yourself, it might be time to let go.

You deserve a love that brings peace, not pain and confusion. Sometimes love isn’t enough when respect and truth are missing.

[PassionSeeker]

you’re holding on to a man who’s lied, cheated, and involved himself in something deeply dishonest not just with you, but with another family. and still, you’re trying to understand, to forgive, to make it make sense. that says everything about your heart kind, loyal, forgiving but also how easily he’s taken advantage of it.

he didn’t just hide two children. he helped deceive another person about who their father was. that’s not confusion or “not being ready.” that’s deliberate dishonesty. and if someone can lie that deeply, they can lie about anything.

you can love him and still see that he’s not safe for your heart. love isn’t enough when it’s built on betrayal.

please, step back. protect your peace. healing starts when you stop making excuses for someone who keeps breaking your trust.

you deserve a love that feels safe, not one that constantly needs forgiving.

[Sally]

When you love someone, your heart tries to make excuses your head would never make. But the part that jumps out to me is that he lied for years, had two kids, hid them, kept talking to the other woman, and somehow made you feel guilty for something he caused. That is not small.

Love can make you hang on longer than you should, but it does not erase a pattern. And this is a pattern. He did not just cheat. He built a whole secret life and expected you to carry the weight of it.

If it were me, I would step back and breathe before making any big decision. Trust is not something you rebuild just because you want things to be okay. It only works when both people are honest, and he has not shown you that yet.

[Natalie Noah]

I feel the weight of your confusion and pain. Your boyfriend has shown a pattern of deception, first by hiding the existence of his children, and then by participating in a scheme that misled another man into believing the children were his. That’s not just a lapse in judgment that’s a serious breach of integrity. Loving someone doesn’t erase the fact that he’s repeatedly been dishonest and manipulative, and continuing to invest in a relationship with someone like that will likely leave you hurt again. Your love for him doesn’t change the reality of his choices and the way they affect everyone involved.

Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and right now, your trust has been deeply violated. Even if he promises to “fix” things, the question is whether he has truly changed and whether he can be fully honest with you moving forward. From what you’ve shared, it seems unlikely that he has confronted the full consequences of his actions or taken full responsibility. You deserve someone who is transparent, respectful, and committed to building a life with you, not someone whose past and ongoing actions are fraught with deception. Walking away now may be the strongest and healthiest choice for your emotional well-being.

[Member]

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