[alias]

Ok my name is Matthew I’m 26

about 4 months ago I living with a friend and she had feelings for me so i moved to a rented room (Big nice house and good flat mates)

a mate of mine, (missing some female company) her name is sarah (for this website). I said pop ova if you like be nice. she was like ok.

I had a week off and we got close, and an affair started. The first time we had sex she was like I’m not going to leave my BF for you, and again I was confuse abit, but went with the flow.

Background, she lives with his Mum and step DAD and he live at UNI most of the year. She is 22 and hes also 22.

the affair has grown, she has said she is worried she has waited 4 years + and he’s playing about in uni caught afew times, hes the type that will. She has grown up with a bad life and has just dealt with crap that has come her way, in the past she says when she has done something to change things its ended up worse.

Anyway so me and sarah work together in a supermarket and we are having sex all the time, and then he comes back from uni and we still are doing it, mainly in the lunch times at work and then we get caught.

believe it or not he got my phone, found everything,

she said not seen you in ages your playing away etc, but if you don’t want me to move out i’ll give it a go if you want……….. to her BF

2 weeks later it starts up again, we get caught again

3 weeks later now present almost she finds messages on phone, that he is going back to get his mail ……… also planing to meet a lady friend only 18 for fun.

she says to him, look if this is going to work you can’t play about if i can’t………..

4 days later shes texting me saying she misses me………….

WTF

i do like her lot, but basicly do i just me a man. take the sex whilst its there or say i’ll see you but not doing anything until you leave him?

only prob with the second one is that she thinks her main stength is sex and if i say i don’t want it then, she may think i don’t want her, if you get where i’m going with that.

just need to see where this is going and after that plan how to get there………

[April Masini, your AskApril]

She’s never going to be monogamous, so if you’re looking for a relationship with real intimacy and monogamy, this isn’t going to what you’re looking for. However, if you’re just looking to hook up, then she’ll be there.

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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[alias]

I understand what you are saying, i think she is too scared to leave him but wants more and is useing the affair to breakup there relationship, but is still in two minds. shes now said to me, she needs time to think but will come over and spend time with me still when she can, which she does once or twice week until he goes back to uni in 12 weeks. she indirectly said that she misses us and does not want to get too close to me because she does not trust her self with me.

so I’m going to play it as mates atm and see what happens, oh forgot to mention her bf is still playing away, which is the reason she strayed in the first place

the bit that gets me is that hes always done it and she thinks that almost normal in her life

[April Masini, your AskApril]

There are people who think monogamy is abnormal and don’t practice it. When they aren’t straight with you about their lifestyle, then they hurt people, often without caring. Your job is to know what you want and to choose someone who’s compatible in their goals.

It sounds like you’re now clear on who she is — so, the ball’s in your court. If you want to be with someone who has affairs and thinks it’s normal, buckle up! If you’re looking for someone who is monogamous and wants to at least try and commit to you, then look elsewhere. 😉

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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