[Sunnygurl]

Ok I really need help with this one. A old friend whom was my first true love, added me as a friend on Facebook back in May of last year. And I really didnt think anything of it b/c after the first time we ever kissed he decided to date someone else. Fine, right. But the weird thing about it is he totally stopped talking to me! and I mean totally and this continued well into my early 20’s. I found my current Fiancé when I was 25! I moved in with him shortly after we met. I love him so however this summer I felt this WAVE of emotions flow over me about my past love. And now I can not seem to get him out of my head. I havent said anything to either one hoping these feelings will pass but they have been here since around June of last year and they don’t seem to be going away!!! please help!!! I just dont know how to handle myself anymore. oh yeah and I find myself fantasying about my old love everyday all day! HELP!!!

[believer88]

I know exactly what your problem is. You have a ‘soul tie’ to the person. You love you current b/f but you’re unable to love him wholeheartedly the way he deserves because you are connected to your ex spiritually. Sometimes you just dream about him without even thinking about him and you can’t help it. If you believe in God pray and ask him to cut off all cords of the soul tie between you and your ex. If you don’t I suggest you block all those emotions by thinking how mean he was to cut you off without an explanation! You weren’t worth much to him for him to say good bye. He just left. If you find yourself fantasizing or thinking about him stop it immediately think of your current sweetheart who loves you and values you more. Don’t allow these emotions to engulf you because it means he(your ex) has control over you and I’m sure you don’t want that. Don’t rob yourself of a good man you have now with thoughts of your uncouth ex!

Good luck.

[Sunnygurl]

Wow! You are right about it all!! My ex and I definitely have a spiritual connection for sure! I do feel that! It has been strong every since we met when we were both young. Neither one of us knew what to do or how to react to the feelings we have for each other. However like you said he did cut me off with no reason what so ever! He hasn’t even been a friend to me and I guess that’s what hurts the most. I do believe in god. I have asked him to give me strength and to help me in this situation. But I almost feel he wanted us to reconnect. I know that just sounds silly, right? But it is how I feel. And as soon as I feel like I am strong enough to move on my ex will reappear into my life again! I am now 36 years old. So time has gone by a few years between my ex and me. I really do try not to comment on anything he may say or if he writes me I try to keep it simple b/c I don’t want him to know that I still have feelings for him. And I know if he was with someone great like me, he wouldn’t even look my direction! I feel like I am old enough to know better but still I’m weak. I do have a great guy! I couldn’t ask for a better man! I feel so stupid to even be allowing myself to feel anything for this man. I do believe that everything works itself out. So I am holding on to that and my faith in God! Thanks for the luck! I’m going to need it!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I have a different take on this: I think your old flame is merely a fantasy. You don’t really know him. You kissed once over a decade ago.

The real problem is going on in your current relationship and you’re projecting your feelings onto a fantasy guy you once knew. I’m a little curious why you’ve been engaged for over a decade and never married. Somewhere in what you haven’t written is the answer to the question of why you’re placing an obstacle between you and your fiance. 😉 Dig a little deeper.

Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Sunnygurl]

True and I wouldn’t deny that he is a fantasy! He is someone I was good friends with/loved when I was younger. And now I really do not know him as well as I wish I did.

The reason my fiancé and I haven’t gotten married is quit simple. I have three children with my ex-husband and my ex is to put it nicely a loser. He doesn’t pay child support and he doesn’t work. So to save us money we have decided to wait to get married. I really do love him with all my heart.

The only person that could make me question my relationship with my fiancé is this other guy. I wish I hadn’t accepted his request.

and not only all of this but before my “old love” had added me, I caught my fiancé calling 900 numbers. Maybe that is the root of some problems with my current relationship? (trust) 🙁

Thanks

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]and not only all of this but before my “old love” had added me, I caught my fiancé calling 900 numbers. Maybe that is the root of some problems with my current relationship? (trust) [/quote]

Clearly something is awry if your fiance is calling 900 numbers, and this isn’t normal behavior for him. I’m also not sure why your ex-husband not paying child support or having a job prevents you and your fiance from marrying, or how it saves you money not to be married.

I think you’re looking for an escape valve because you know things aren’t adding up, but you don’t want to do the math. 😳

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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