[Milan D]

A new guy is at work temporarily for the next 3 months. On his first day, he came to a meeting in my office. After the meeting he lingered for a minute to ask if this is where he can find me some time. I told him that it was.

He heard that I was going on vacation a couple of weeks ago. He stopped by my office to wish me a nice vacation and to ask me where I was going for vacation. As I tried to answer my team leader barged in and began asking him a lot of questions. In between her asking him questions, he asked me some like where I was from and what were some of my likes. Finally, my team leader shooed him away and he had to leave.

Today, I had to email the rest of the team for an impromptu meeting in my office. He came right away before anyone else. Again, before we could get a good conversation going my team leader came in to interrupt. She said that she had to talk to him right away regarding his new office location and he left to go with her.

I fixed lunch for my team today. He sat and ate every morsel. He told me how delicious it was and how it would be great to have a friend who could cook so good. He heard Nina Simone coming out of my computer and told me that was his favorite singer and that he would bring me more of her music to listen to.

So he has been moved to the office next door to me but we won’t be working on any projects together and I need some advice as to how I can get to know him before he leaves in three months. I did find out that he is single and looking.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Flirt with him! 😉 He likes you — he just hasn’t made a move to ask you out. He may not know that you like him, and if he’s concerned about rejection, he’s looking for a clue! If you smile, laugh at his jokes, compliment him and basically let him know with your behavior (not coming out and telling him 😕 ), he’ll feel more confident about asking you out on a date. 😀

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[Milan D]

The new guy at work and I have been getting closer each day. We talked to each other for hours and we have so much in common: favorite music, books, artists, etc. and we eventually exchanged personal email addresses. in the last email that I sent him I told him that I have been learning so much from him and I looked forward to him sharing knowledge with me whenever he could. He never responded to that email.

The next day he walked past my office looking straight ahead like he didn’t see me. I didn’t say anything to him and I took it as a sign that my email made him uncomfortable and that I should stop trying to be his friend.

Yesterday, as soon as he got to work, he walked past my office repeatedly, being very obvious about looking directly into my window. Then I have been receiving these work emails from him in which he is telling me how wonderful I am and how he is so appreciative of all that I do. I ran into him in the hallway and he tried to conversate with me but I kep the conversation very short.

Why is he all over me one day and ignoring me the next? Today he was running to open doors for me and he is sending me emails to ask for my help on things that he has never asked for my help on before.

Why is a guy that I am seemingly so compatible with giving off mixed signals already? From the beginning of when he first started working there, he was always the one to seek me out, so much so that one of my colleagues refers to him as my ‘best friend.’

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]Why is he all over me one day and ignoring me the next? [/quote]

He may be confused, but that doesn’t mean you have to be! Here are a couple of tips to help you out: First, don’t put too much energy or expectation into a crush. Keep your other options open, too — keep meeting other men, flirting with them, and keeping yourself busy and interesting! Second, don’t put yourself in the friend zone. Lots of women are so eager to have a connection with a guy, that they befriend him — hoping that that will get them close to him. What it does is put them in the friend zone, and take them off of his dating radar. Keep the spark alive, and cut the friendship vibes!

[quote]Why is a guy that I am seemingly so compatible with giving off mixed signals already? [/quote]

Because he’s not sure he wants to date you. Sometimes he thinks he does, and sometimes he thinks he doesn’t. But again, don’t focus so much on him. Instead, focus on your own life, and if he asks you out, then that’s great — and if he doesn’t, then you won’t have invested too much. 😉

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