[elfuego]

I need some help with these mind games. This girl I met through work 6 months ago was pretty cute but had a boyfriend at the time. We hanged out a couple times, but I didn’t really make a move because I knew she was in a relationship. She no longer works there, but I found out that she got dumped a while back and through mutual friends relayed the messaged if she was interested in going out with me sometime. The friend said she was. So I started texting with her back and forth with some witty banter. Asked if she wanted out to go out for drinks this past weekend and she said she loved to. So I called her a couple days later before the weekend and she invited me out with her friends on Friday, but said “I might be able to make it, but if I can’t lets meet up on Saturday like we planned”, she said thats fine. I was trying to play the cool approach and not jump at the chance to see here again. So I called her Friday to see where she was going, but went to voicemail, didn’t leave a message. She didn’t call back, so i thought it was no big deal. I texted her on Saturday evening saying “My friends and I are going out around 10, what time do you want to meet up?”, she never replied back totally leaving me in the dark. So my question is, when and how (call/text) do I contact her again and what do I say? If she was interested and wanted to go out for drinks, why not reply back to me at all when she could have said no to begin with in the first place.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Texting is a great way to get some information across quickly, but women don’t like it when you use text as your primary means of having a relationship with them, and they don’t like to be asked out on a date by text. It basically means you don’t have the time to actually pick up a phone and call them. They want to hear your voice and the nuances in it.

So if you want to ask her out (or anyone out), use the phone. Text is great for, “I’m running late — sorry – should be there in 5.”

Next, it really sounds like you didn’t ask her out on a date. Or if you did, you then back tracked and invited her to hang out with a group of your friends. 😳 This isn’t going to make it seem like you’re all that interested in her. Frankly, I understand why she didn’t respond.

So, here you are today — and if you want to try control the damage, my advice is to show some chivalry and show up with some flowers. Tell her you’re sorry you didn’t see her this weekend and would she be interested in dinner (or drinks) next Saturday at seven. If she says yes, tell her you’ll pick her up at 6:45. Then do it.

Women want to know that the man really cares about them and that he’s going to make a plan and be in charge. Hope for a do-over and try it again! 😀

I hope this helps — please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[elfuego]

Thanks for the great advice. But I wont be able to see her in person, so I have to call her. If I call her and get a voicemail, do I ask her out in the voicemail, if not, what should I say then?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Leave her a message and tell her that you’d like to talk to her. Give her your phone number and ask her to call you back. Don’t ask her out by leaving a message on her answering machine, but do ask her out on the phone when you get her. 😀 Women love to hear men’s voices. It bonds them to you. 😉

[Member]

Posts