[simplicity]

Alright, me and this guy have known each other for a long time, like a couple years, and we’re just online friends.

We got in touch lately around the start of June, and began texting and talking again. However, this was more because we played this online game together, but nonetheless, It was fun, flirty, and funny conversations.

Anyways, We somewhat planned to watch Tranformers 2 together right? So we didn’t make exact plans for mentioned it, but on opening day, he went to watch it with his brother. I shrugged it off all day till we were talking late night and stupidly brought it up. We talked about it, but I beat around the bush telling him what was really bothering me. (Which was that, it sucks feeling you had a chance, but it kindaa just goes out the window.).

It ended with me saying this after he logs off:
“Alright you know what? I’ll just tell you. My point was that I just felt stupid okay?I felt retarded for expecting something in the first place, and I’m sorry. I know I kinda pissed you off, and I know that’s not fair cause I beat around the bush tellin` you what was botherin` me. Well here it is. So what, if I maybe did feel we bit “rejected,” fine, its true. But that wasn’t your fault at all, it was mine. Like I said, for expectin` somethin of it. Of course I feel stupid, wouldn’t you? But ugh, i just need to tell you I’m sorry for being so irritating about it. >< The point was that I didn’t want to be another girl on your jock, being stupid and lame. But you know, I guess I kind of am right? Anyways, I’m sorry for before.”

The next morning: he says:
“You shouldn’t feel stupid for expecting something and you don’t have to apologize for that, nor did you piss me off. I could tell you felt reject… I know I would feel rejected aswell.. and you shouldn’t feel that way. I would go to the movies with you for sure if you lived closer =/ I mean.. realisticly I cant go to SF.. atleast I think thats where you would go, but yah.. like I almost never go to SF and theres no way of me getting there and blah blah… I know.. lame excuse.. but its true. You don’t have to be sorry for expecting something.. if anyone should be sorry its me, You weren’t irritating and you’re not just another girl being stupid and lame.”

And it hasnt been the same since, its awkward and barely a conversation now. And if we do, he responds 20-30 minutes after I say a simple “w`sup.” What’s your opinion? And is there a way to save it? =[ I think I ruined it, I just want to be friends again.

[AskApril Masini]

If what you want is an internet friendship with nothing else, I’m sure you can salvage this by giving it some time and not really getting intimate with this guy. He wants something light, flirty and without commitment. So if that’s your cup of tea, just stay within those parameters.

But if you’re looking for a real life relationship, this guy isn’t it. If a man wants to go out on a date with you, you’ll know it because he’ll make sure that the plans are clear and that you’re going to be there. This guy wasn’t that interested in seeing a movie with you. At all.

It’s fine to like a guy, but understand that if he wants to date you, he’ll ask you out. That’s how you’ll know that he likes you as more than a friend.

If all you want is a friendship with this guy, understand that he may just want you as a friend who plays an online game with him, and is one of many friends he has online. He may not want to have you be part of his real life, in fact, I think he’s made that pretty clear by telling you that you live too far away to even meet for a movie.

[simplicity]

-sigh-
You’re right.. Thanks for telling me straight up.
It’s just hard to actually hear it more, but it doesn’t make it any less true.

[AskApril Masini]

I’m glad I was able to help, and sorry that it hurt to hear. Think of my advice as a band aid being ripped off. It hurts like heck at first, but you’ll be healed and good as new, soon after.

Good luck to you.

[Ethan Morales]

Here’s how I see it: nothing you did “ruined” the friendship. You were honest about your feelings, and that can feel awkward for both people afterward, especially if your dynamic had been light and flirty before. His longer response time now probably isn’t anger at you it’s likely discomfort, uncertainty, or him figuring out how to interact without crossing into deeper territory.

Distance is a real factor. He explicitly mentioned that meeting in person isn’t realistic, and that’s not something you can fix. It sets a natural limit on how close the relationship can get.

You expressed vulnerability. Vulnerability changes dynamics. If you both were used to playful, flirty chat, suddenly revealing hurt feelings can make him more cautious in his responses not because he’s upset at you, but because he’s adjusting to a new emotional tone.

Give it space. Don’t push for rapid interaction. Continue conversations casually, keep it light, and let him respond on his own timing. This helps rebuild the comfort level.

Reset expectations. If you want the friendship, focus on shared interests (the game, jokes, casual chatting). Avoid expecting in-person plans or romantic signals. If he wants something deeper later, it will come from him naturally.

You can absolutely save the friendship, but it’ll take patience and keeping things low-pressure. The key is: shift from emotional intensity back to casual connection.

[Natalie Noah]

It’s clear that the shift in your friendship stems from mixed expectations and feelings on both sides. You were hoping for more, even in a small way, like going to a movie together, and when that expectation didn’t materialize, it triggered feelings of rejection and awkwardness. On his end, he’s likely aware of your emotional investment and is trying to navigate the situation without hurting you, but that may have caused him to pull back, creating the current distance. It’s natural for both of you to feel unsure after that kind of vulnerability is expressed.

The awkwardness you’re experiencing now isn’t a sign that the friendship is ruined. it’s more that both of you are recalibrating. You communicated your feelings openly, which is actually a positive thing, but it did shift the dynamic from casual and flirty to emotionally heavier. He may need space to process and return to the easygoing rhythm you both had before.

If your goal is to restore the friendship, give it some time and avoid overexplaining or apologizing excessively. Keep interactions light and enjoyable, like the conversations you used to have about the game, and don’t push for closeness or clarification about the movie incident. Let him initiate some of the contact, but respond warmly when he does. This shows that you value the friendship without pressuring him or making it awkward.

It’s important to manage your own expectations. Right now, the best approach is to accept that your connection may remain primarily online and casual, and that’s okay if you genuinely enjoy it. If you try to force the relationship back to what you hoped it might be, you risk further tension. By focusing on the friendship for what it is, you give both of you the chance to relax and rebuild trust and comfort gradually.

[Member]

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