[Honestdood]

Hi April.

When is the soonest you would text her? Someone I haven’t seen in a while

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If you want to date her, then call her on the phone on Thursday and ask her out on a date for Saturday night. If you’re not interested in dating, and just want to hook up, then tell her where you’ll be on Saturday night and ask her to stop by so you can buy her the drinks this time. 😉

As for texting back and forth, I’d stop. It seems like you’re someone who texts quickly and then realizes mistakes in the texts afterwards. You’re not alone. 🙂 But in order to quit doing that, and in the process, blocking yourself, 😕 you should pick up the phone and call her if you care about dating her.

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[Honestdood]

Hi April,

Thank you for your feedback and suggestions, I’m definitely planning on calling.

I did have a question:

Do you think calling next week on Thursday would be too long of a wait? I was suddenly getting realizations as I thought about it a little more.

I definitely think she was a little taken aback at how different I looked after all that time(so pouncing quick may be good), at first, but she likes it I’m thinking, she “didn’t want to lose me” (I do know women better than to know I understand that, which is why I turned to the internet, if that makes sense), but she didn’t want to not be naked and cuddle too.

I am not decided yet what I want, actually. It would be unfair to her and me, I was starting to think when she first stopped the moment, if I didn’t do something more than a night. We’ve talked atleast 10-20 times over the past few years. That time when I was 20, she was wanting a condom so we didn’t get into it, and she didn’t want to wait for one. She moved back roughly 6 months ago. This time when we got together, we didn’t get to the condoms. I think it was the drunk kissing.

OH! Another question.

As put above, she said she hasn’t had a boyfriend for 3 years.

Before we met up, she had put a video from youtube that pretty much denounced having a boyfriend. This was actually like 3 days before I messaged her (did not know about it) And “one night stand” implies no future interaction… Or would she say that because it does not and she wants to discuss it… How would you ask that question indirectly/directly if you were me?

Does that mean it’s to the bar only? Or maybe the beach… Is she telling me something or nothing? I know these are impossible to directly answer but ya I am kind of interested in covering all my bases now and am feeling a little hazy (and obviously doubtful) on my own woman-knowledge after the past few years.

Oh and to back up to before any of last week occurred, back to the summer, when she called me on my birthday and jokingly said it’s my future husband (about me). I understand the joke but wanted to post it to kind of give you a better idea about her. Oh and you would never know it but she has a bunch of amazing tattoos in places.

I guess I’m asking, go do the hookup again, after this information and figure out a friendship continued from there? Would it be unfair to go on dates with her and my mindset, or asked another way, is the nondesire for a relationship compatible to dating.

Did she trick me into stopping the encounter..? She did say she didn’t mind the joke about stalking her. I’m kind of confused…

Huge thanks
Honestdood

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If you don’t want to ask her out for this weekend, then you can ask her out for next weekend — and, no, I don’t think she tricked you. You should understand that you can’t be friends with her — she’s someone you’re interested in sexually and maybe romantically. That’s not friendship. And just because you date her doesn’t mean you’re committed — it just means you’re spending time together, getting to know each other, to see how it goes. A couple of dates doesn’t mean you’re engaged to be married, or even that you’re monogamous. 😉

Hope that helps!

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[Honestdood]

Hi April,

Are you saying I should call this Thursday for next week?

What are your thoughts on one-night stands repeating and/or Ieaving the bar and becoming a dating relationship? I suppose bargaining for a consistent hookup relationship when drunk would be a poor decision for the present and future. Does the fact she said “this would be a one night stand” probably mean it would just be a one night stand? A part of me suspects minor manipulation on her part and I don’t think I mind, but it is definitely leading to these questions, as well as all of my other reasons.

I’ll think about it all either way.

Thank you so much again this has been a huge help.
Honestdood

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]Are you saying I should call this Thursday for next week?[/quote]

Sure, why not? 🙂

[quote]What are your thoughts on one-night stands repeating and/or Ieaving the bar and becoming a dating relationship?[/quote]

One night stands that repeat are not one night stands. A one night stand is a sole incident. A one night stand could turn into a dating relationship, but why not figure out what you want first, and then go for it?

[quote] I suppose bargaining for a consistent hookup relationship when drunk would be a poor decision for the present and future. [/quote]

If you want a future with a woman, then you should ask her out on a date.

[quote]Does the fact she said “this would be a one night stand” probably mean it would just be a one night stand? [/quote]

It has a lot to do with what YOU want. It isn’t clear. If you want to date her, then you should do that. If you just want a hook up relationship, then don’t worry, and just see what happens.

[quote]A part of me suspects minor manipulation on her part and I don’t think I mind, but it is definitely leading to these questions, as well as all of my other reasons.[/quote]

She’s not manipulating you. You’re just lacking direction when it comes to what you want, so you’re looking for other people to make the decisions. 😉

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