Got it. Thank you for the extra information.
It sounds like you have a lack of impulse control. This is something you can work on — but like I said before — it’s going to be hard to do. That said, I can tell you want to make this change, and I think you can. 😀 You’re going to have to become very conscious of your behavior and of your feelings. Take five breaths before you do or say anything, for starters. During those five breaths consider NOT doing or saying what you were about to. Giving yourself those five breaths allows you space to think about what you’re doing before you do it. In other words, it gives you a place to decide to control your impulses before acting. This will require discipline and practice. You’re not going to get it in one day, one week or one month. It’s going to become like a religion — you have to do it all the time. And you will begin to see positive changes.
The other issue you mention — his being quiet leading to your turning into the interrogator — is insecurity. It’s hard to be comfortable in your own skin. And for many people, just being quiet together is hard. You feel like you have to say something, or fix the silence. Practice just being in it. You’re going to feel discomfort, and that’s okay. Discomfort isn’t something you die from. And eventually, you’ll understand that. In fact, the more you can withstand discomfort, ironically, the more easily it will disappear. 😀
These are personal practices that you’re going to be able to use in this relationship — and any other relationship you have along the way. 😉
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